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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29921064">Let's Switch Up</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Happy_Ocelot/pseuds/Happy_Ocelot'>Happy_Ocelot</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Body Swap, Comedy, Crack, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:02:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>25,211</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29921064</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Happy_Ocelot/pseuds/Happy_Ocelot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto and Hinata become the unintended victims of Ino's botched Mind-Reverse Body Jutsu, and are forced to impersonate each other until she gets back from a mission. This is much easier said than done, though.</p><p>In which Hinata becomes obsessed with ramen, Naruto becomes a shy, blushing mess, and everyone becomes baffled as the pair try to navigate each other's lives successfully.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>123</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Day 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Based on the Naruto SD episode with the same premise. :) Except of course, instead of Naruto and Lee switching bodies, it's Naruto and Hinata here. For reference, this is set during some nebulous time period in Part 2/Shippuden.</p><p>Tune in for whatever mass chaos they'll cause, because this will be a multi-chaptered story!</p><p>And of course, please do leave a review. :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Happy, cheerful sunlight streamed in through the window. Naruto groaned and tried to cover his eyes with his dog-shaped sleeping cap, then frowned as his hand came up with thin air. Discontent, he rolled over onto his back and tried to get back to sleep.</p><p>Sleep would not come. That was mainly due to the peaceful, buzzing chatter of people outside, seemingly lost in their daily morning routines.</p><p>That was very odd, as his apartment complex wasn't too crowded, but Naruto tried his best not to think too hard so early in the morning, especially not after...whatever the hell happened last night. He would <em>never</em> attend a "Rookie 9 get-together party" ever again. They were all underage, so there was no sake involved, but between Chouji eating all the ramen (ramen that <em>he </em>wanted to eat), Shikamaru muttering "troublesome" as he listlessly stared at the flashing strobe lights, Akamaru getting his muzzle into the food, and Sakura and Ino having a terrifying karaoke singing contest war, they didn't need it. It was already insane enough.</p><p>He vaguely remembered hanging out next to a thumb-twiddling Hinata, who, as he recalled, didn't want to sing, despite all the cajoling in the world from Sakura and Ino. At that point, their duel had gotten ugly, the party became the sight of carnage, and...</p><p>...What happened next...?</p><p>A piercing pain developed in his eyes, rendering sleep impossible. He scowled, finally opening them.</p><p>He blinked.</p><p>This...was not his room. It was too nice to be his room. Between the spacious length and width, the handsome mahogany table at the side, ornate lavender drapes, and a massive wardrobe, it looked like it was a room in a fancy aristocratic clan's house.</p><p>He looked down. Yeah, it definitely wasn't his bed either. The pillow was too fluffy and the linen looked waaay too expensive.</p><p>Did one of his friends bring him over to their house overnight? He'd have to find out who it was and thank them. He hoped it wasn't Ino. She would probably extract some humiliating favor from him as proxy punishment for whatever she fought with Sakura over last night.</p><p>Sighing heavily, he got up and glanced at the wardrobe mirror. What he saw made his blood run cold.</p><p>That wasn't his face. He wasn't that pale and he didn't usually have any hints of rose on his cheeks.</p><p>Those weren't his eyes. His eyes were a bright sky blue. These eyes were a blank white.</p><p>That wasn't his hair. He didn't <em>have </em>long, dark hair, somewhere between the shades of blue and black.</p><p>This...</p><p>Wasn't his body.</p><p>It was Hinata's.</p><p>What the hell? Was this some freaky hallucination brought on by a lack of sleep?</p><p>He reached out and tugged at a strand of hair, trying to confirm that this wasn't reality.</p><p>The hair was silky against his hand, shattering his hopes into millions of infinitesimal pieces.</p><p>Naruto screamed.</p>
<hr/><p>A very similar scenario was playing out not too far away.</p><p>Happy, cheerful sunlight streamed in through the window. Hinata, just like Naruto, was not a morning person, and she too tried in vain to shield her drowsy eyes from the piercing sun rays.</p><p>Sleep didn't come for her either, because for some reason, the drapes were not blocking out at least part of the sunlight (how odd, she thought sleepily; usually, she closed them at night).</p><p>Another strange thing her half-asleep mind registered was the absolute lack of noise in the Hyuuga compound. They were a large clan and most people would have been up and about by now, buzzing around the complex with their daily routines.</p><p>But today, there was nothing. No one. She had never understood the term "pin-drop silence" before (the Hyuuga were renowned for their eyes, not their ears). But today she felt as though a tiny hairpin could fall onto the ground and create all the noise of an earthquake. It was really that silent.</p><p>This oddity was what prompted her to reluctantly open her eyes.</p><p>Her confusion mounted as she took in her surroundings. She was clearly not in the Hyuuga compound. She was in someone's room. Judging by its size, it looked more like a room in a small apartment and not the huge house that her clan lived in. Did one of her friends bring her here?</p><p>Well...whoever it was, it had to be either Sakura or Naruto. Because everyone else had big clan compounds except for them.</p><p>She glanced around and spotted a poster on the wall, emblazoned with the words, "No Ramen, No Life" and an image of steaming cup noodles. On the bedside table was an empty cup of ramen. Surrounding this cup of ramen were three more cups of ramen. The low table on the floor had an entire unopened cardboard box, definitely full of cups of ramen.</p><p>Ah. Naruto's house, then. No one else on the planet would create a miniature shrine to ramen in their bedroom. But why did he bring her here? Did she do something totally undignified back at the party, prompting him to escort her to his house? A pang of guilt coursed through her. If she was sleeping on the bed, then he would have been forced to sleep on the couch, right?</p><p>And then she too glanced into the mirror in the room. And just like Naruto over at the Hyuuga compound, her blood curdled at the sight.</p><p>Sparkling sky blue eyes stared back at her, rather than her actual eyes, which were snow white.</p><p>She reached out a hand and tugged at a lock of spiky blonde hair. If her eyes deceived her, surely her touch wouldn't.</p><p>The hair was silky against her hand. This made her blood curdle even more, now that she was sure that this wasn't some screwed-up nightmare.</p><p>The last straw was the whiskers on her cheeks. Her stomach churned itself into knots as she tentatively prodded at them. Those were real too.</p><p>Panic built up in her chest.</p><p><em>I am never going to a Rookie 9 get-together party ever again, </em>she thought in despair.</p><p>You can guess what happened next.</p><p>One thing did set apart their nearly identical experiences, however: Hinata's scream was <em>much</em> louder.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Hinata's Daily Nutritional Meal Intake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Barely had her scream echoed throughout the house when the sharp rap of knuckles slammed against the front door.</p><p>"Oh no, I must have disturbed his neighbors," Hinata mumbled. Judging by the sharp staccato of the knocking, Naruto's neighbor was not happy.</p><p>She warily left the bedroom and had only just opened the door when the irate lady – Naruto's neighbor – took a swing at her with the steel okonomiyaki pan clutched in her hand. Hinata barely managed to duck in time.</p><p>"How many times have I told you not to be so loud in the morning, brat?" the old lady snarled.</p><p>Hinata blinked, taken aback by the ferocious tone of this neighbor's voice. The old lady was thin and brittle, wearing a simple pink kimono that hung heavily on her frame. Her hair bun had fallen into disarray, long strands of gray hair escaping the tight knot and spilling over her shoulder. She was very tired, if the dark circles under her eyes were any indication.</p><p>A twinge of concern for this woman bubbled up in Hinata's stomach, despite the fact that she was almost brained by her pan. Well...of course, anyone would be upset if they were woken up by distressed screams.</p><p>She bowed deeply. "Um...I'm extremely sorry for disturbing you. It's my fault really. I was just...very scared."</p><p>The grandma blinked. "Since when were you so polite, brat? Usually you would come yelling right back at me." Her grip on the pan loosened.</p><p>"Oh...um..." Naruto wasn't polite? That was a bit odd. He'd never spoken rudely to her before. Sure, he was kind of casual in speaking to people in situations when maybe he should've been more formal, but he wasn't what she would call <em>rude</em>. He did have a tendency to get into fights, but usually that was because someone else started it, and he didn't show much restraint...</p><p>...Like...now...</p><p>"And what do you mean, you were scared?"</p><p>Hinata clammed up, poking her fingers together – or rather, Naruto's fingers together, she supposed. But she couldn't exactly tell anybody about this. First she had to find Naruto, who, if she followed the logic through, was probably stuck in her body in the Hyuuga compound. And after finding him, they had to fix whatever this was and then never talk about it ever again.</p><p>Hinata's internal monologue was broken off by a hearty laugh from Naruto's old neighbor. "I guess spending all that time with Jiraiya-sama knocked some manners into you, huh?" The old lady gave her a toothy grin. "Well, whatever, I'll let it go this time, kid. Be less noisy in the mornings, okay?" She winced. "It's bad for my eardrums..." And with that, she waddled away back to her own apartment.</p><p>Hinata sighed. Was it <em>normal</em> for Naruto to get into stupid fights with his neighbors? Anyway, it was time for her to go now.</p><p>She needed to get her own body back.</p><p>Unfortunately, the day had other plans for her. Just as she turned the doorknob, someone else started knocking. Only this time, it wasn't at the door, but the kitchen window. She ran into the kitchen to find none other than a masked, smiling Kakashi-sensei, just casually hanging out at the window, holding a basket of fruits and vegetables in his hand.</p><p>Hinata stared.</p><p>"Ah...good morning, Naruto," said Kakashi-sensei with a big, crinkly closed-eye smile. "May I come in? It's time for your daily nutritional meal intake."</p><p>Daily nutritional meal intake? What the hell was this?</p><p>Apparently she said that out loud, because Kakashi-sensei paused and eyed her with some concern.</p><p>"You know...I come here every morning to feed you something healthy so that you don't die from eating nothing but ramen? Come on, Naruto, we've been doing this for years. Don't get spacey."</p><p>Hinata's vision became hazy. The ramen shrine in Naruto's room flashed in her mind's eye.</p><p>Before she knew it, Kakashi-sensei jammed a carrot into her mouth. It was totally out of nowhere, so she was left gasping for breath as she chewed and swallowed laboriously.</p><p>She had barely taken a large, blessed gulp of air when he dangled an apple in front of her face.</p><p>"Open wide, Naruto."</p><p>He smiled angelically, but Hinata swore that he had never looked more demonic than at that moment.</p><p>It was the weirdest, most lunatic ritual Hinata had ever participated in. By the end of it all, she had been force-fed ten carrots, five apples, three oranges, and four eggplants.</p><p>Kakashi-sensei was acting like this was all normal the whole time, smiling benignly and telling her that he brought extra fruits and veggies on this day because he needed to "detox" Naruto's body after whatever gargantuan quantities of ramen he had eaten at the party last night.</p><p>And then she was on all fours, trying in vain to hold back her gag reflex as she coughed up a storm. Kakashi-sensei, apparently satisfied that he had fulfilled his duties as a teacher today, had gone back to the kitchen window. Why did he enter and leave via window? Was he afraid of using the door?</p><p>"Well, see you, Naruto! Be at Training Ground 3 tomorrow morning at 9 am, okay? Don't be late." Then he leapt out of the window and off into the breeze.</p><p>Hinata slowly extricated herself from the floor, delicately massaging her chest and taking huge gulps of air.</p><p>Her throat ached from the sheer exertion of downing twenty-two fruits and vegetables in the space of approximately fifteen minutes.</p><p>What was wrong with Naruto?</p><p>Why was this his life? Did old ladies attack him with pans all the time? What was his normal daily nutritional meal intake?</p><p>Hinata would have liked to have known the answers to these questions, but she did not want to find out via first-hand experience.</p><p>She needed to find Naruto and get her body back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Top-Secret S-Rank Mission</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thankfully for Hinata, she did not have to go out of her way to look for Naruto. <em>Why?</em> asked a Shino-like voice in her mind. Because he found her first.</p><p>She had settled down on the couch for a few minutes, trying her best to get over the nausea of having endured Kakashi's nutritional meal plan-slash-torture ritual.</p><p>Then the door went flying open and the actual owner of the body she was inhabiting finally barged in, saving them both what would have undoubtedly been a very tedious search.</p><p>"Hinata!" yelled Naruto, before immediately attacking her with a long, rambling, word-vomity barrage. "Man, am I glad to see you. I had a terrible nightmare that we somehow switched bodies and then I screamed so loudly and Neji opened the door and looked at me funny but I didn't care and I ran all the way over here and..."</p><p>At this point, he bent over, his hands clutching his knees (or more appropriately, HER knees), while taking a few deep breaths. Then he launched right back into his word-puke. "And somehow I just have a gut feeling that this has something to do with whatever happened at the party last night and...and..."</p><p>Finally, <em>finally</em>, he stopped talking. Hinata just gaped at him.</p><p>It was the strangest feeling in the world to see how your body was like when it was inhabited by someone else. Hinata always felt a burning, self-conscious loathing whenever she looked into the mirror; she always cringed when she took in the pallor of her cheeks, greatly accentuated by the shade of her hair, which was the exact opposite – a deep midnight blue-black. The pale, blank eyes only served to remind her that she would never be good enough to wield them properly. That would make her cringe some more. And when she cringed like that, she couldn't help but hunch in on herself a little and press her fingers together. It all got worse when she grew a bit older and...filled out in the chest area. She had no idea why Sakura was jealous of her for this. To be honest, it sucked and she hated it, preferring to cover up with the baggiest jacket she could find.</p><p>But Naruto made her look...like a totally different person. Maybe it was the rambling monologue he had decided to inflict on her, or maybe it was the fact that he seemed to have rushed out of the Hyuuga compound in a tearing hurry, giving her hair an unusually windwept look, or maybe it was how he didn't zip up her jacket as he left the compound in a tearing hurry, thus totally defeating the purpose of wearing it.</p><p>"Naruto-kun," she finally said. "This isn't a nightmare. It's reality. We've switched bodies."</p><p>Naruto dramatically flopped onto the ground. "THEN WHAT DO WE DO?"</p><p>Yeah, he made her look like a totally different person. Hinata never raised her voice to that decibel level, ever.</p><p>"Hinata, I don't wanna be stuck in your body forever, ya know?" And then he turned slightly pink when he realized how that sounded, finally bearing a small resemblance to how Hinata actually was. "I mean, no offense, you're a nice person and there's nothing wrong with your body, ya know?"</p><p>At that comment, Hinata's – well, Naruto's – cheeks turned pink as well. Was he a mind reader or something?</p><p>"But even though you're cool and all, I really need to get my own body back, ya know, I mean, I have no idea how we got into this mess but..."</p><p>Hinata butted in before he could say something even more strange and embarrass her further.</p><p>"Naruto-kun, let's just think back to what happened at the party last night. We'll figure it out from there," she suggested. It was weird hearing her voice coming out so deep. She fully shared Naruto's sentiment. As...cute...or...good-looking as he was, she didn't want to be stuck in his body either.</p><p>Naruto rubbed the back of Hinata's head in his usual tic. She averted her eyes. It was weird to see his mannerisms in her body too.</p><p>They <em>really</em> needed to switch back.</p><p>"Um...well..." Naruto frowned thoughtfully. "Sakura-chan...and Ino got into some kind of fight, right?"</p><p>Ah. That fight. "I didn't want to get into the karaoke singing contest, and then Sakura-san kept encouraging me 'because I have a really cute voice...'" Hinata blushed. "And then Ino-san told her to knock it off and not to make me uncomfortable, and then Sakura-san called her Pig and Ino-san called her Forehead and then they began fighting...?"</p><p>"Sounds like their usual," Naruto grumbled. "I think that Sakura-chan smashed up the floor or something. It's really hazy, ya know? But Ino's no match for her and her monster strength anymore..."</p><p>"Well, sometimes, brain can win out over brawn, Naruto-kun," she pointed out. "Especially with Ino-san's Mind Transfer..." A sudden realization came smashing into her mind like a bolt of lightning. "It's Ino-san's Mind Transfer Jutsu, isn't it? We've gotten hit with one of the Yamanaka clan's secret jutsu and switched bodies."</p><p>"Is that why we don't remember anything about what happened last night? Because we were switched and fell unconscious?"</p><p>Hinata nodded. Now that she'd voiced her theory out loud, she was sure that it was true. There was no other possible explanation.</p><p>"Well, then our problem's solved, isn't it?" Naruto palmed his fist. Weird, weird, and weirder. Hinata wanted to look away, but she just couldn't this time. He made her look extremely confident. "We just have to find Ino and make her switch us back, right?"</p><hr/><p>"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE YAMANAKA CLAN'S OUT OF THE VILLAGE?"</p><p>Tsunade blinked in surprise at "Hinata's" uncharacteristic outburst.</p><p>"Yes, well, they've been requested by the Fire daimyo on a very important mission," she said briskly. "He's been having a problem with his officials secretly leaking information to enemy countries, and you know how the Yamanaka clan is renowned for mastering the human mind. They've been asked to find the traitors."</p><p>"But why does the entire <em>clan</em> need to go? Couldn't...I don't know...Ino have stayed behind?" asked "Hinata."</p><p>Tsunade looked even more astonished now. "What's gotten into you, Hinata? You're so worked up, it's not like you. Do you have some business with Ino?"</p><p>The real Hinata jumped into the fray. "Um...it's...just...flowers!" She shot Naruto a discreet warning look that mercifully went unnoticed by Tsunade. "We...we just wanted to ask Ino-san about her...flowers. Because we all love...flowers!" She laughed awkwardly.</p><p>Tsunade gave her a strange look, but before the Hokage could comment, Hinata jumped in again. "So...when is Ino-san coming back, Tsunade-sama?"</p><p>"In one or two weeks." Tsunade's eyebrow was raised at "Naruto's" sudden formality, but her eyes were trained on the paperwork volcano on her desk. Her interest in their bizarre behavior was fast fading, to be replaced with the number one greatest worry of any Hokage. "Anyway, I'm busy right now, Shizune's on my case lately about finishing off all this paperwork. So...go train...or have a picnic...or whatever. I have stuff to do."</p><p>And with that, she unceremoniously threw the two out of her office.</p><p>Naruto turned towards her with despair. "What do we do now?" he whispered to her. His eyes – her eyes – were welling up with tears. Hinata felt a surge of alarm. She couldn't have him falling apart on her now during a crisis like this.</p><p>"Naruto-kun." She took a deep breath. "Let's just think of this as a mission, okay? A top-secret S-rank mission. Until Ino-san gets back, I'm you and you're me. She <em>will</em> be back soon, maybe as soon as a week."</p><p>Naruto stared at the ground. "I'm...you and you're...me?" His lips quirked a little, his mood brightening fast. Huh? Did the words "S-rank mission" really have such a big effect on him? "Okay, it's a top secret S-rank mission that only we know about, ya know. Operation: Body Swap."</p><p>Despite the truly stupid situation they were in, Hinata couldn't help but smile. Naruto always did lift her spirits. But before they could commence their "top secret S-rank mission," she needed to clear a few things up.</p><p>"Naruto-kun, what's your daily nutritional meal intake?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Day 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hinata put the finishing touches on the bentos and smiled, drying off her wet hands with a towel. There were quite a few reasons she was going out of her way to do this...most un-Naruto like thing. Firstly, there was simply the fact that she liked making them.</p>
<p>Secondly, Naruto's diet was, as Kakashi-sensei ardently believed, deeply unhealthy. She checked his kitchen cupboards and his fridge for any source of dinner on the previous night, and all she found were thirty-six cups of ramen and some rotten milk (milk which she promptly threw out). The whole apartment emanated with the smell of miso and seaweed due to the massive amounts of ramen he was consuming every day. While this wasn't necessarily a bad smell (she liked miso soup, in fact), it clearly wasn't good for his wilting houseplants to constantly breathe in miso-and-seaweed flavored air. That was why she opened the windows. To let the poor plants breathe.</p>
<p>Thirdly, and connected with the second point, she believed that if she showed Kakashi that she was serious about eating a healthy diet, he might stop showing up at the kitchen window every morning to stuff an eggplant down her throat. That last reason was the major one. She never wanted to undergo his lunatic torture ritual ever again, and had no idea why Naruto was playing along with it for all these years.</p>
<p>After getting kicked out of the Hokage Tower, they had both begun brainstorming on what they needed to do to convincingly pass off as the other. Or...well, they'd <em>tried</em>. Naruto was not good at explaining in words exactly what he was like most of the time.</p>
<p>
  <em>"Oh, ya know..." He airily waved Hinata's hand around, with a casualness that she did not actually demonstrate. Ever. "You know what I'm like...ya know?"</em>
</p>
<p><em>Yes, she </em>knew,<em> they'd been classmates at the Ninja Academy for years. She was quite familiar with his mannerisms and personality. But that wasn't what she meant.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>"Could you be a bit more specific, Naruto-kun?" she asked with a stupendous amount of patience that Naruto actually did not demonstrate. Ever. "For example...what are your teammates like? What are their hobbies, what do they expect of you, what do you expect of them, those kinds of things...?"</em>
</p>
<p><em>Naruto scratched his nose...</em>her<em>...nose, and grinned sheepishly. "Ah, well, Kakashi-sensei, he's kinda lazy and boring, ya know?"</em></p>
<p>
  <em>She frowned. "What do you mean?"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"What time did he ask you to show up tomorrow?" Naruto asked, abruptly changing the subject.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Um...9 am?"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"See, that's what I mean." He grabbed her shoulders and stared into his own blue eyes intently. She looked away. It was too weird to see her eyes burning with such energy. "Hinata. You need to know something really important about Kakashi-sensei. He never shows up on time. EVER. So don't go at 9 am, okay? Go at...I dunno...11, I guess? Show up at least two hours late, or you'll be bored."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"...Okay...?"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Naruto's team was very strange.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"And if Sai makes any comments about me not having any 'equipment,' just punch him in the face, all right?"</em>
</p>
<p><em>"Huh? Wait a second </em>–<em> "</em></p>
<p>
  <em>"And Sakura-chan, well, she sometimes gets mad and hits me for no reason," he continued, rambling on without a care in the world. "But you can handle her, I mean, she really likes you, ya know? Just be you, you'll be fine, ya know! And do whatever Captain Yamato says so that he doesn't try to rule by fear, okay? That's all there is to it!"</em>
</p>
<p><em>"That's...that's it?" she spluttered. "Wait, Naruto-kun, I have some more questions </em>– "</p>
<p>
  <em>He patted her on the back and gave her a breathtaking, dazzling smile. "Just don't sweat it, Hinata! I believe in you 100%!" He shot her a thumbs-up, then ran far, far away, presumably back to the Hyuuga compound. Or maybe Ichiraku. She had no idea.</em>
</p>
<p>The brainstorming session was totally useless. Naruto seemed to have <em>thought</em> it was helpful, but it wasn't. She barely even got a chance to tell him what to expect from Team 8 or the Hyuuga clan.</p>
<p>She was on her own. She thought she might as well make some bentos to stave off Kakashi-sensei's torture sessions while she was at it.</p><hr/>
<p>"You're late!" Sakura said, pointing an accusing finger at Kakashi. Luckily, Hinata had heeded Naruto's advice and didn't show up until 11. Now it was 11:30. She only had to wait half an hour, compared to the two and a half hours that everyone else had waited. Maybe Naruto's advice wasn't so useless after all.</p>
<p>"Good morning, Kakashi-sensei," she said politely. This made everyone look at her strangely.</p>
<p>"What?" she asked defensively. <em>Don't tell me that saying good morning is out of character for Naruto-kun.</em></p>
<p>"You're acting really out of character today, Naruto," said Sai with a very fake smile that wouldn't have been out of place with the Hyuuga clan elders, although she was sure he was trying hard to be friendly. "Usually, you would also yell "You're late!" and point your finger at Kakashi-sensei, just like Sakura."</p>
<p>She took back her earlier thoughts. Naruto's advice was definitely useless.</p>
<p>"Good morning to you too, Naruto," said Kakashi-sensei cheerfully. "Although it's a surprise to hear that from you, who said surprises aren't welcome, eh, Tenzo?"</p>
<p>"You have to call me Yamato while I'm on this team, senpai," the Wood Release user said, staring impassively at Hinata. She had no idea what to make of it.</p>
<p>"Um...anyway, let's get started on the mission..." she said, trying desperately to deflect all the new attention from her. It didn't work. "...Ya know?"</p>
<p>That seemed to have done the trick. Everyone nodded. Hinata breathed a sigh of relief. It looked like she would have to constantly mutate her speech patterns from that of a polite Konoha ninja clanswoman to that of...whatever Naruto's speech pattern could be called (she wasn't sure that his verbal tic was even from the Land of Fire).</p>
<p>Well, that could be easily managed...right?</p>
<p>Everyone gasped one hour later, when, during lunch break, she revealed her beautifully wrapped bento boxes.</p>
<p>"Naruto, you know how to cook?" asked Sakura, gaping at the beautiful, <em>healthy</em> lunch that did not contain any ramen whatsoever.</p>
<p><em>Kakashi-sensei, please, please notice,</em> Hinata prayed. <em>If you see how many vegetables are in these, you won't have to torture me tomorrow.</em></p>
<p>Kakashi-sensei did not notice. He was too busy giggling as he leafed through Icha Icha Paradise. This made Hinata very, <em>very</em> sad. But he would have to eat the lunch sooner or later, and then he'd surely notice?</p>
<p>
  <em>Please notice.</em>
</p>
<p>Hinata watched quietly as Team 7 dug into the bentos, her thoughts far away.</p>
<p>
  <em>I wonder how Naruto-kun is doing with Team 8 and my clan.</em>
</p><hr/>
<p>How was Naruto doing indeed?</p>
<p>He woke up in the morning, absolutely chipper and ready to seize the day. This was the start of his top-secret S-rank mission. He would be the best Hyuuga Hinata in the world. He swore it on his honor as the future Hokage. That said, it was kind of weird for him to see Hinata's face in the mirror instead of his own, but he was slowly getting used to it. It wasn't like her face was bad to look at.</p>
<p><em>No,</em> he thought. <em>Not bad at all.</em></p>
<p>Then he blushed at where his thoughts were heading. Hinata was his friend! His sweet, kind friend. He wasn't supposed to be thinking about her...face. Her beautiful face with her beautiful eyes and those long eyelashes...</p>
<p><em>Snap out of it, Naruto! </em>he scolded himself.</p>
<p>He began to get ready for the day. It was in the midst of this that he stopped abruptly, bewilderment and a little bit of panic flaring up in his veins.</p>
<p>There was a problem.</p>
<p>He needed to see Hinata.</p>
<p>Fast.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Why Don't You Wear Bras?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He wasn't expecting that he would end up having this conversation with her today. They'd talked about it before during that brainstorming session thing that Hinata insisted on having yesterday, and well, he thought that the matter was settled then and there. Sure, it was awkward to be stuck in someone else's body (<em>so, so awkward</em>).</p><p>But it wasn't like they could just...refuse to bathe for an entire one or two weeks until Ino got back. That would be even more awkward.</p><p><em>"Um...Naruto-kun." Hinata gave him a very nervous look. It was weird seeing such insecurity reflected back at him. Not that he didn't </em>have<em> insecurities. He just...tried not to show them. He would cover it all up, by pretending to be tough (or stupid).</em></p><p>
  <em>But then, Hinata knew that, didn't she? He told her so, right before he was set to face Neji during the Chuunin Exams.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What did that mean, then, that she was showing him that kind of face? Was she okay with being insecure around him?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He didn't know what he felt about that.</em>
</p><p><em>She poked his fingers together. Somehow, he found this little mannerism of hers oddly endearing. "I...I hope you know that I wouldn't...take advantage of you and do anything inappropriate with your body since we're...stuck. And I </em>know<em> you wouldn't do something like that either." Her voice went down to a tiny squeak at these last few sentences.</em></p><p>
  <em>He just blinked at her, confused, for a few seconds. Then he realized what she meant. His face turned a bright cherry red.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ahaha, yeah!" He rubbed the back of his head...well, her head. He felt like he was hallucinating. "Don't worry a bit, Hinata! I won't do anything weird and creepy and I know that you won't either, I mean, I know that my body is in good hands, ya know!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was her turn to turn a bright cherry red. He had no idea why. He thought he was being quite straightforward. What was there to blush about?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So don't worry! I give you blanket permission to go to the onsen, shower, whatever! Because I know that you'll take good care of my body!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hinata fainted.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Again, he had no idea why. But she woke up after a few minutes and also gave him blanket permission to go to the onsen, or shower, or whatever, although in a very dazed voice as though she was suffering from heatstroke.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because it wasn't like they could just stop bathing for an entire two weeks. They just really needed to clear up any misunderstandings, ya know!</em>
</p><p>But as he began to get dressed for the day, he came to realize that he was totally...unprepared for this. He'd looked through her wardrobe and found everything except for those things. To be honest, he wasn't entirely sure how to put them on (the straps always seemed kinda confusing to him), but just his luck, Hinata didn't seem to have them.</p><p>He began to panic slightly as he pushed past a pack of...diapers? Pads? What were those for? Anyway, he pushed past those diapers, or whatever, in her wardrobe, and he still couldn't find them.</p><p>How was he supposed to go outside without wearing a bra? Should he...ask one of those Hyuuga clan people for some?</p><p>Never mind. Hinata might not like it if he did that.</p><p>In that case, he'd have to ask her on his own. He took a deep breath and left the compound, making sure to zip up Hinata's jacket as securely as possible, just in case.</p>
<hr/><p>He found her pretty easily. Well, actually, it took almost two hours, and he feeling antsy the whole time, but those were small details. The important thing was that he found her. She was with his team, who were scarfing down some bento boxes for some reason. He frowned. Didn't they go to Ichiraku Ramen most of the time? What was up with the bentos?</p><p>He shook his head. Whatever. It wasn't important right now. He ran towards them, catching Hinata by surprise as he practically jumped right in front of her.</p><p>"Hi – Naruto...kun," he greeted, catching his mistake before anyone could notice. "Just shut up and come with me!"</p><p>Hinata just stared at him, slack-jawed.</p><p>Oh wait. Hinata didn't usually talk like that, did she?</p><p>"Um...I mean, please come with me. I need to talk to you about something in secret."</p><p>A giggling sound erupted from Kakashi-sensei's throat. Naruto glanced over and saw that his Icha Icha book was open, but that he hadn't turned a single page. That was weird. Usually when he giggled, it was because of some stupid thing in those novels.</p><p>Sakura gave him a knowing glance. That was also really weird. Why was she giving him a knowing glance?</p><p>She gave Hinata a huge shove. "Well, Naruto, you heard Hinata. Don't keep a lady waiting!"</p><p>Hinata followed him to a tree a little ways away from Team 7, her face – <em>his</em> face – a blood-red.</p><p>"Well, Naruto-kun?" she asked. "What did you want to ask me about?"</p><p>He lowered his voice, just in case anyone was eavesdropping. You never knew, especially with a socially awkward weirdo like Sai.</p><p>"Hinata, what's your size?"</p><p>She blinked. "Huh?"</p><p>"I mean, I really need to know so that I can go to the store and buy some," he said obliviously.</p><p>"What...what are you talking about?" she asked.</p><p>He frowned. He was trying to be discreet here! There could've been eavesdroppers lurking in the bushes, listening to every word. He didn't want to embarrass her.</p><p>"You know."</p><p>She didn't know. Hinata kept staring at him blankly.</p><p>He sighed. "Your bra size," he whispered.</p><p>Hinata gaped at him.</p><p>"Wh – what?"</p><p>Her voice came out as a petrified squeak.</p><p>Naruto also turned blood-red at this point.</p><p>"Don't get the wrong idea! It's not like I'm trying to be creepy and weird." When Hinata was high-strung, she would clam up. When Naruto was high-strung, he lost control of his brain to mouth filter. "It's just that I was getting dressed and things were all just fine and normal and then I realized that you didn't have any bras in your wardrobe and I got really nervous because I thought that all girls wear them when they go outside and I didn't want to be underdressed and I didn't know what to do so that's why I wanted to talk to you."</p><p>Hinata opened her mouth. Then she closed it. Then she opened it again and took some deep breaths.</p><p>"I...um...don't worry about that, Naruto-kun," she said quietly.</p><p>"But...shouldn't I go to the store and get some?" He shifted from foot to foot. While he was relieved that she didn't get the wrong idea, wasn't this something to be worried about?</p><p>"That...won't be necessary." She averted her eyes.</p><p>Most people, at this point, would have just stopped talking. Naruto was stupid, though, so he didn't.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Because..."</p><p>"Because?"</p><p>"I...um..." Hinata screwed up her face. Did he mention that it was weird to see these kinds of expressions on his face? "None of the ones at the store...fit..."</p><p>Naruto just stared at her. "Huh?"</p><p>"My...um...chest is too big and those...bras...are too small." Hinata shook her head. "They...um...they're very...constricting...and it becomes really uncomfortable...so...I...ah...don't wear them."</p><p>"...Oh..."</p>
<hr/><p>If someone had told Hinata last week that she would soon be explaining to Naruto that he didn't need to buy bras because her breasts were so big that none of them fit, she would have thought that they were smoking something very strong.</p><p>But here they were, having this really bizarre conversation.</p><p>"Okay then!" Naruto gave her a big smile. "I'm sorry for bothering you, it's just that I got really scared for a sec there at the thought of shopping for bras, ya know..." He laughed nervously.</p><p>She smiled a tiny, tiny smile. At least he didn't seem to be...judging her for this. "It's all right, Naruto-kun. I'm glad that you came to ask me."</p><p>She was. Because the idea of Naruto roaming around in the wild, searching for suitable bras for her...wow, she would have nightmares about that.</p><p>"That's what I thought too, ya know. I thought maybe I should ask one of your clanmates for one..."</p><p>Her blood ran cold.</p><p>"But I thought you wouldn't like that, so I came straight to you."</p><p>A frightening image flashed in her mind of Naruto roaming around the Hyuuga compound, asking for bras from Hanabi, Neji, her father, her aunts, and her bodyguard.</p><p>She felt like she narrowly dodged getting hit by a train. She supposed she should thank her stars that her period ended last week. Who knew how Naruto would deal with <em>that</em>? Did he even know what periods were?</p><p>"Naruto-kun, if you have any questions, just ask me, like you did just now," she said. "I promise I won't get angry." There was no way he would ask her clanmates for bras. Not on her watch.</p><p>"Okay!" Naruto said. "The same goes for you, ya know! If you have any questions, just ask me! I won't get mad either!"</p><p>"Really?" There <em>was</em> one thing she wanted to ask him, but it was...embarrassing. But he <em>said</em> that she could ask.</p><p>"Yeah!"</p><p>"Okay...um..." How did she go about asking him about this? "Last night..."</p><p>She cast about her mind for a euphemism. She was a <em>lady</em>. She couldn't talk so vulgarly. "Your...your...member..." There, that was a good euphemism, wasn't it?</p><p>Now it was Naruto's turn to stare at her slack-jawed.</p><p>"It's not what you think!" she said defensively. "I wasn't looking or doing anything."</p><p>For once, words seemed to have failed Naruto.</p><p>"I just felt it become...so hard..." she explained. "I didn't know why. Is this some kind of medical problem? Should I go to the hospital about it?"</p><p>"No!" Naruto yelled, finally regaining his voice.</p><p>She frowned. "Really?"</p><p>"Yes, really." He scrunched his eyes – her eyes – shut. "Don't...don't worry about it."</p><p>"All right," she said quietly. This was so surreal. "Um...well, if...if it makes you feel any better, after a few minutes, it went back to normal."</p><p>"Okay." He was talking in complete sentences again. That was good...right? "Um...Hinata, did...anything else happen?"</p><p>She blinked. "No. Why?"</p><p>"It's nothing!" he said hastily. "Nothing at all. Don't worry about it, Hinata. Sometimes, your body does funny things, ya know?"</p><p>What an interesting color Naruto was making her face turn. It was a strange mix of red, green, mauve, and ash. He <em>really</em> wasn't telling her something, wasn't he?</p><p>"Naruto-kun, how often does this happen?"</p><p>He fainted.</p><p>
  <em>Ino, please come back soon.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Hi, Neji nii-chan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His head was in a daze as he returned to the Hyuuga compound. He felt as though he was suffering from heatstroke, kinda like Hinata yesterday when she passed out. Who knew that being her would be so tough? His face was still a lovely shade of rainbow, courtesy of that horrifying meet-up with her.</p><p><em>I'm not ready for this!</em>  his mind whined in despair. How the hell would he manage to impersonate her for one week...<em>two</em> weeks? Even getting dressed in the morning was like playing minesweeper. How was he supposed to figure out that Hinata's breasts were so big that she couldn't find bras that fitted her? Couldn't clothing manufacturers make bras that were suitable and comfortable for her? She should complain about this! <em>He</em> would, if he were in her situation.</p><p>He tried his best to block out the...other part of his conversation with her. Though he couldn't help but feel really annoyed that his...<em>equipment</em>...suddenly developed a mind of its own right when the body swap lunacy happened. And that Hinata thought that it was a "medical problem." He supposed that he should have been happy that she didn't know why that happened. Sakura kept calling him oblivious, but she clearly didn't know that Hinata was too.</p><p>So caught up was he in his misery that he walked right into Neji without even noticing.</p><p>"Hinata-sama," her older cousin greeted, frowning at Naruto with concern. "I was looking for you the whole day. Where have you been?"</p><p>Naruto froze. It was strange seeing Neji not looking at him with an annoyed or exasperated expression.</p><p>"Oh, ya know." Naruto laughed awkwardly. Then he cringed. Yeah, Hinata didn't talk like this normally. She was part of a super uptight clan that seemed to have chronic cases of lockjaw, rendering them incapable of smiling. "Um...I was with Naruto...kun."</p><p>
  <em>Think fast. Hinata sees Neji as a brother, right?</em>
</p><p>"Neji nii-chan."</p><p>Neji blushed a deep crimson.</p><p>Naruto cursed inwardly. <em>Great, I can't call him nii-chan? What's up with this screwed-up clan? Uptight and formal, uptight and formal. Blegh.</em></p><p>"I mean...Neji onii-sama?" he offered.</p><p>Apparently, this was also a mistake. Neji's crimson color intensified into a rich vermillion.</p><p>"Hinata-sama, there's no need to be so formal with me!" he said, as his face heated to such a degree that his body evaporated several gallons of sweat at once.</p><p>
  <em>That's right, nii-san. Hinata calls him nii-san!</em>
</p><p>"All right, um, nii-san," Naruto said quietly. <em>Ugh, what's up with this clan and blushing?</em></p><p>Neji cleared his throat as though there was a lemon stuck in it. "Shall...shall we have our daily meditation, Hinata-sama? I was searching for you all morning. You were with...Naruto, you say?"</p><p>"Yes, Neji nii-san," Naruto said as politely as possible. "He was giving me...lessons."</p><p>Neji quirked his brow, his color thankfully fading back to normal. "Lessons?"</p><p>Naruto was needing to do a lot of quick thinking today, wasn't he?</p><p>"Yes. He says that I need to improve my...confidence."</p><p>Which was true. Hinata was a really strong and brave person. But she always averted her eyes and stared into the floor as though she wanted to disappear.</p><p>Naruto didn't want her to disappear.</p><p>Neji didn't either, it seemed, because he nodded. "That's surprisingly helpful of him. Please remind me to thank him later, Hinata-sama."</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Why is meditation so hard?</em>
</p><p>Naruto and Neji were both in the Hyuuga clan dojo, seated in what should have been an uncomfortable seiza. The few times Naruto managed to do it in his own body, his knees began begging for mercy after ten minutes and someone always had to help him get up.</p><p>In Hinata's body, though, there were no problems with sitting in seiza. That was really strange. Was it that muscle memory thing that people sometimes talked about?</p><p><em>Clear mind</em>, announced the tapestry on the wall. To meditate, you needed a clear mind.</p><p>Naruto's mind wasn't clear at all, because it was stuck in the wrong body. How was he supposed to manage?</p><p>His stomach rumbled. That was right. He didn't even eat breakfast, all because of the stupid clothing manufacturers of Konoha and their stupid lack of Hinata-sized bras.</p><p>Visions of ramen danced in his mind.</p><p>That miso and seaweed aroma.</p><p>Those smooth, wet noodles, perfect for slurping.</p><p>The boiling hot broth, surprisingly soothing when it went down his throat.</p><p>How long had it been since he'd eaten his beloved Ramen-chan? One whole day?</p><p>"...Hinata-sama?"</p><p>He couldn't go on like this. He found that if he went too long without ramen, his hands would start shaking and he would become really clumsy. Tsunade baa-chan said that he was addicted to ramen, but what did she know?</p><p>"Hinata-sama!"</p><p>Naruto's eyes snapped open. Neji was smiling at him. Why was Neji smiling at him?</p><p>"Hinata-sama, our meditation session is over," he said with a smile. "You've been meditating for half an hour. So calm and elegant. But..."</p><p>He reached out and wiped some saliva off Naruto's...Hinata's...cheek.</p><p>"You were drooling for some reason."</p><p>...</p><p>Maybe Tsunade baa-chan was right. Maybe he <em>was</em> addicted to ramen.</p><p>"Shall we begin our jyuuken training?"</p><hr/><p>God, this was a tight situation.</p><p>Jyuuken was one of Konoha's secret taijutsu. It required the usage of the Byakugan...unless you wanted to memorize all of the chakra points in the human body.</p><p>Naruto didn't know how to turn on the Byakugan. This was a massive problem.</p><p>What was he supposed to do? How could he impersonate the Hyuuga heiress without the Byakugan?</p><p>Looked like even <em>more</em> quick thinking was required today.</p><p><em>Um, the Hyuuga clan's veins pop out when they activate it, because they need more energy in their eyes,</em> Naruto remembered.<em> So should I concentrate more chakra in my eyes? Is that how it works?</em></p><p>It was worth a shot. Also, he had no other ideas.</p><p>But unfortunately, Naruto had what must have been the worst chakra control of the Rookie 9, maybe even of most Konoha ninja. When he was in his own body, the amount of chakra he wasted like no tomorrow could be compensated for by the Kyuubi's chakra reserves (not to mention his own reserves were already far larger than average).</p><p>But this was Hinata's body. Hinata's chakra reserves were completely normal and ordinary. She didn't have a demon fox sitting in her belly.</p><p>And Naruto still had terrible chakra control.</p><p>What happened next was therefore perhaps not unexpected.</p><p>"Byakugan!" Naruto yelled, focusing all of poor Hinata's chakra directly into her eyes.</p><p>The signature Byakugan veins popped out. Naruto experienced 360 degree vision for the first time ever.</p><p>This was not a good thing.</p><p>A rush of images so sharp they stabbed through his mind.</p><p>A drop of water on a single tree leaf thirty kilometers away suddenly seen with aching clarity.</p><p>All of Hinata's chakra focused in one short burst of clear vision.</p><p>
  <em>So many images. All at once.</em>
</p><p>It was too much for Naruto's mind to take. A sharp piercing pain tore through his eyes.</p><p>For the second time that day, he fainted.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Day 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bright sunlight flooded the windows.</p><p>Naruto somehow knew this, and felt an odd sense of deja vu, despite the fact that he couldn't open his eyes, because it seemed like something was covering them. A quick nudge at his forehead confirmed it: someone had wrapped bandages around his eyes.</p><p>Just what happened when he activated the Byakugan?</p><p>"Hinata-sama!" cried out someone's voice in what seemed to be relief.</p><p>Then he felt a pair of hands quickly untie the bandages. He groaned in pain as the sunlight stabbed at his eyes.</p><p>"Thank goodness you're all right," Neji said. Beads of sweat dripped down the older Hyuuga's face as he hastily wrenched the curtains shut. "The doctor said that while you shouldn't use the Byakugan for another week and should only be in dimly lit areas for another two, you should be fine after that."</p><p>"D-doctor?" Naruto croaked. He took in the sterile, plain white surroundings and the smell of cleaning fluids and disinfectant. He'd been here before...back when...</p><p>"I brought you to the hospital after you collapsed so suddenly," Neji said. "You have a severe case of eyestrain. The doctor said that it's like you broke your eyes. How...how did you do that?"</p><p>"Do what?"</p><p>Neji sat down in a chair next to Naruto's cot and stared at him with a mixture of concern and admiration. "It...it was like...genius," he said in a reverent tone.</p><p>Naruto was getting a really bad feeling about this.</p><p>Neji, the Hyuuga clan prodigy, calling him a genius either meant one of two things: he'd actually done something so smart that another smart person recognized that it was smart.</p><p>Or...that he'd done something deeply, profoundly stupid and Neji was so baffled by it that he thought it was smart.</p><p>He had the distinct impression that it was the latter.</p><p>"Usually, we're warned never to concentrate all our chakra into our eyes. Our grandmother always told us that bad things would happen if we tried this," explained Neji. "Yet yesterday, you decided to break that rule, Hinata-sama. I could <em>see</em> all the chakra radiating from you. And I think you broke the previous record of a hundred miles."</p><p>Huh? He broke a rule that he didn't even know about?</p><p>Neji's eyes were shining with tears.</p><p>What the hell was going on?</p><p>But before Naruto could ask, he found himself being smothered by Neji in a warm, affectionate hug.</p><p>"I'm so proud of you, Hinata-sama. All your training has been paying off. You've proven yourself to have the best Byakugan of us all by seeing two hundred miles away by using a single burst of chakra. No one has ever done that before. Everyone is so pleased."</p><p>Okay...he had no idea what was going on, but he guessed that it was a big deal. It seemed like he accidentally broke the Hyuuga clan's record for seeing the farthest or whatever, and he sprained his eyes in the process, but Neji was happy, so it was good...he supposed.</p><p>Being Hinata was so confusing.</p><p>Then Neji pulled something out of the folds of his white kimono.</p><p>"The doctor says that you have to wear these for some time to block out light, though. I wanted to get a standard pair, but the ophthalmologist only had these. Please forgive me, Hinata-sama. But perhaps Naruto would approve."</p><p>Oh my. Naruto <em>did</em> approve.</p><p>His heart beat faster as he took in the glory of this amazing item.</p><p>Black lenses in the shape of naruto fishcake swirls. Frames, so long and wavy, just like his beloved noodles. Even the coloring was white and red, just like Ichiraku's extra large deluxe bowls.</p><p>A pair of...</p><p>Ramen-themed sunglasses.</p><p>Yeah, he didn't know what was going on, but this was pretty good. He was getting to wear Ramen-chan on his face for two whole weeks! He'd wanted these sunglasses for a while ever since he saw them in the store, but Sakura always said that she would refuse to be seen in public with him if he bought them.</p><p>But now he could! He had no choice. He had health problems!</p><p>Being Hinata was awesome.</p><p>Confusing, but awesome.</p><hr/><p>She should have known that it would end up like this. Didn't that ominous, ominous feeling of foreboding fill her mind when he jumped right in front of her and yelled "Just shut up and come with me!"?</p><p>Only three days into this body swap madness, and Naruto had somehow drained massive amounts of her body's chakra and, from the way the doctor talked, would be incapacitated for a good long while.</p><p>Her heart almost stopped beating when she heard this from a Neji whom she'd cornered last afternoon after her mission with Team 7 was over. Unfortunately, the hospital didn't allow visitors past 8 pm when she'd tried to go see what near-death experience he had suffered. That led to a whole sleepless night for her, wondering if he had somehow blinded her body, or given it a heart attack, or who knew what.</p><p>Then <em>why</em> was it that he was hanging out in Ichiraku at noon today, scarfing down his twentieth bowl of miso ramen with naruto toppings?</p><p>"Na...um, Hinata!" she called out, running towards him.</p><p>He looked up, smiled, and gave her a casual wave, entirely incongruous with what she'd heard about his injuries.</p><p>"What's up?"</p><p>She paused, stock-still, staring in shock at what he was wearing. All thoughts of his eyestrain, or eye sprain, or whatever, fled her mind immediately.</p><p>"W-why are you wearing ramen-themed sunglasses?"</p><p>"Oh, these?" He grinned and tapped on the naruto fishcake lenses with pride.</p><p>Once again, he had zero brain to mouth filters in place when he spoke, and a torrent of word-vomit gushed out again, just like the last few times. "Uh, Hina...I mean, Naruto...kun...please don't be mad, but I kinda sprained your eyes for a few weeks and broke some kind of Byakugan seeing record and Neji gave me these sunglasses for a while so that I can be in brightly lit areas without any problems, but don't worry because the doctor said it would be okay and I guess I really need to improve my chakra control, ya know!"</p><p>"..."</p><p>He only had one job: to convincingly pass off as her for one or two weeks.</p><p>Only three days into this job, he had almost killed her body.</p><p>What would he do next? Start a Hinata fanclub? Become the focus of a cult in the Hyuuga clan?</p><p>Where was Ino when you needed her?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. It's Like You're a Whole New Person</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Here you go, Sai," Hinata said kindly. "I noticed that you were running short on ink, so I went to the store and bought some...ya know."</p><p>She handed over the painting supplies to Sai, who blinked at her surprise before he reached out and took them.</p><p>Sakura gave Sai a pointed look. "Sai, what do you say when someone does something nice for you?"</p><p>A light bulb went off in the Root member's head. "Ah...thank you," he said. "In that book, <em>The Art of Human Relationships</em>, it says that you should say thank you."</p><p>"Right." Sakura nodded slowly. "So go right ahead and thank Naruto."</p><p>"Thank you, Naruto."</p><p>Sai's smile wasn't fake.</p><p>"And as for Sakura-chan...I know that you've been working really hard with Tsunade...baa-chan lately, and your muscles are probably sore...so please have this."</p><p>Hinata held out a tub of the Hyuuga clan's special ointment.</p><p>Naruto's apartment was the last place she would have expected to see the ointment. She did remember that she had given him some, right after his match with Kiba in the Chuunin Exams, back when they were both twelve.</p><p>All this time, she had thought that he'd long since used it up and thrown it away.</p><p>She was wrong.</p><p>In the three short days she'd been stuck in his body, she'd realized that he really didn't <em>need</em> any ointment. A small cut on his hand she'd accidentally made while chopping up vegetables for the bentos...she had barely blinked and it had already healed, not even leaving a scar behind.</p><p>His hands were soft and unblemished, as though he was some kind of scribe in the daimyo's capital, not a ninja undertaking dangerous missions.</p><p>He didn't need the ointment. But he didn't throw it away.</p><p>She found it in a drawer in his bedroom, stashed carefully inside, not a single mote of dust on it.</p><p>It made her feel warm and bubbly inside, like she was floating on a cloud.</p><p>Sakura beamed at her. "Thanks a lot, Naruto."</p><p>"You know, lately..." she said, applying some on her bruised knuckles. "It's like...you're a whole new person."</p><p>"What do you mean?" Hinata asked warily. Every day, this kept happening. She morphed her formal speech patterns to Naruto's slangy one (a torturous effort if there ever was one), she made sure to smile a lot, and she did her best to copy his mannerisms and try to convincingly appear to be him.</p><p>But it seemed that a little bit of Hinata always shone through, no matter how much she pretended to be Naruto.</p><p>"It's just...you're a bit less...stupid?" Sakura frowned. "Well, you're a bit more perceptive...no, I think the word is considerate? You're acting...kinda like Hinata."</p><p>Even though she knew that Sakura meant well, the fact that she thought of Naruto as stupid, unperceptive, and slightly inconsiderate...</p><p>Well, that rankled...quite a lot.</p><p>Naruto was a smart person. He'd mastered a tough, A-rank jutsu like the Rasengan in just a few weeks, didn't he?</p><p>Naruto was perceptive. He saw a lot more than people thought – the fact that he saw through her own suffering and that of her cousin's all those years ago was proof of that.</p><p>And Naruto was considerate. She thought back to the ointment she'd given him, carefully stashed away, and smiled.</p><p>Sai, socially awkward weirdo that he was, misunderstood the import of the smile.</p><p>"If I may offer a hypothesis," Sai said. "I think that you are fond of Hinata-san, and that you're trying to impress her by softening up and trying to be like her."</p><p>And just like that, her train of thought was completely derailed.</p><p>Hinata turned beet-red. "W-why would you think something like that...ya know?"</p><p>Sakura gave her a devilish grin. "Ooooh," she crowed. "He's <em>blushing</em>. That means it's true."</p><p>"I think it's a good idea, Naruto," said Sai thoughtfully. "Your goal is to be Hokage, yes? To be Hokage, you must have the qualities of kindness and grace, so that you can run the village smoothly. Just like Hinata-san. Being like her could be great training for being Hokage."</p><p>Being like her was great training to be <em>Hokage</em>?</p><p>Sai was insane.</p><p>"I'm sure Hinata-san would be pleased if she knew that you were trying to impress her," Sai continued. "Should we set you and her up on a date? Friends do that for each other, right, Sakura? Set each other up on dates."</p><p>"NO!" Hinata yelled, finally attaining a Naruto-like decibel to her voice.</p><p>"YES!" bellowed Sakura. "I've been thinking about this for years. You two would be a great couple!"</p><p>Hinata was blushing before. But now it seemed as though her face...well, Naruto's face...was filled with molten lava.</p><p>
  <em>"Naruto and Hinata, sitting in a tree..."</em>
</p><p>Hinata glared at a totally unrepentant Sakura, who was too busy guffawing to take note of this.</p><p>Why...<em>why </em>was she so obvious about her feelings for him even now, even while <em>she was stuck in his body?</em></p><p>"Didn't she yell, "Just shut up and come with me!" at you yesterday?" asked Sai. "I think that's what's called a come-on – "</p><p>
  <em>"Sai!"</em>
</p><hr/><p>Meanwhile, a totally oblivious Naruto had just crossed the threshold of the Hyuuga compound, completely sated after his twenty-eighth bowl of ramen, consumed after being released from the hospital following his brush with near blindness.</p><p>He was greeted by a mob of eager Hyuuga. Clearly, news of his eye sprain had spread far and wide.</p><p>"Hinata-sama, is it true that you broke the Byakugan seeing record?"</p><p>"Hinata-sama, please describe in detail exactly what you saw two hundred miles away."</p><p>"Hinata-sama, what on earth are you wearing?"</p><p>"I always thought she had the talent to be the heiress...shame that the elders didn't agree when she was a child."</p><p>"Well, I suppose that people really change when they grow older. The old, weak Hinata-sama is no more."</p><p>Wow, this was annoying. Naruto had to put his foot down.</p><p>"Everyone, please shut the hell up – I mean...everyone, I would really appreciate it if you would be quiet," Naruto said, cringing as he see-sawed between super casual and super formal.</p><p>A hush settled over the threshold as everyone's jaws dropped at once.</p><p>Naruto couldn't help but be annoyed. Did Hinata really not assert herself in this household as much as she should? She was a strong and brave person, yet it seemed like these idiots had pushed her around for most of her childhood, if the gossiping was to be believed.</p><p>Did it really take some stupid eyesight record to be broken before they recognized how good she was, how kind she was, how brave she was?</p><p>It was time for these Hyuuga idiots to know what was up!</p><p>Naruto, at that moment, made up his mind: by the time he was through with them, the Hyuuga clan would know and appreciate the awesomeness of their former heiress.</p><p>He would start a cult around her, if need be.</p><p>"Um...yes, I broke the record and saw two hundred miles away," he explained, politely yet assertively. "No, I can't tell you what I saw because I passed out immediately afterwards. Yes, I'm wearing ramen-themed sunglasses because...the doctor said that I had to. Now if you'll excuse me, I really need to lie down, so good night!"</p><p>It wasn't nighttime. It was the middle of the afternoon.</p><p>Not that Naruto cared. He just ran off after not even <em>trying</em> to give a speech that was remotely in character for Hinata.</p><p>There was stark, stark silence. Actually, it wasn't even a stark silence. It was an awed silence. Little did Naruto know that he'd succeeded at his goal of starting a Hinata cult within five seconds of thinking about it.</p><p>Assertiveness was greatly valued within the Hyuuga clan, it seemed. Coming from a shy, sweet soul like Hinata, it was more like getting hit by a hurricane.</p><p>Then one of Hinata's little cousins spoke up.</p><p>"Wow," she said softly. "It's like...Hinata-sama is a whole new person."</p><p>"She's really strong," chorused a dozen eager preteen voices.</p><p>"She's really cool!" said someone else.</p><p>"She kinda reminds me of that one guy that Neji faced back during the Chuunin Exams!"</p><p>...</p><p>No matter how hard he tried to be Hinata, it seemed like a little bit of Naruto would always shine through.</p><p>And he was somehow already changing the Hyuuga's image of Hinata...</p><p>Just by being stupid. Or maybe by being a genius? It was hard to tell.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Hinata and Her Freakish Team</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He, apparently, had to go and meet Team 8 at Training Ground 7 in the late afternoon, something which they did weekly, according to Hinata during that brainstorming session in which she'd passed out.</p><p>Fortunately, unlike with the Hyuuga, who were massive question marks at this point (as he got ready to leave the compound, he was almost stampeded by certain lunatic fringes of her clan, all screaming "Hinata-sama!" as though he was a celebrity), Naruto had Kiba and Shino pretty much figured out, having been their classmates for years.</p><p>Kiba was a blockhead who tried to compete with him at any opportunity, and he <em>needed</em> to make sure that Shino didn't feel left out at any costs, or bug boy would sulk and bring it up twenty years later when no one else remembered.</p><p>Both were good guys, though kind of annoying, to be honest. He had no idea how Hinata put up with them, if the way they behaved around him was anything like how they behaved around her.</p>
<hr/><p>"Whoa, Hinata, what are you <em>wearing</em>?"</p><p>Naruto lovingly ran a finger down the frames. "I passed out yesterday after seeing two hundred miles with my Byakugan – "</p><p><em>"What?" </em> Kiba yelped. His jaw hung wide open.</p><p>"And Neji...nii-san got these for me. The doctor said that I have to wear them until my eyes get better."</p><p>"Hinata," Shino said. "This development is quite odd. Why? Because you do not usually need spectacles for the purposes of eye protection."</p><p>"Um...what?" Naruto would pay money for someone to invent a device which would translate whatever the hell Shino was saying into regular language.</p><p>"See, even Hinata is confused by your gibberish, Shino," Kiba said in exasperation. "For the last time, please – talk – <em>normally</em>. Not like you're a professor."</p><p>"Just because <em>you</em> do not have a sophisticated vocabulary, Kiba, does not mean that Hinata is the same way," said Shino, turning towards Naruto expectantly, as though he expected Naruto to decode this sentence of his.</p><p>Oh hell. Did Hinata have to put up with Shino-language every <em>day</em>? And she understood it?</p><p>Why was she surrounded by weirdos everywhere she went? First her clan, which on first notice, seemed merely uptight, but as his experience that afternoon indicated, had quite a few deranged lunatics when you didn't expect them.</p><p>And second...<em>these</em> two idiots. If Kiba and Shino were this way, what was Kurenai-sensei like? He barely knew her, but he hoped that she would be normal, unlike Kakashi-sensei or Uber Brows-sensei.</p><p>"What a fascinating conversation you three are having," said a voice from behind.</p><p>Speak of the devil.</p><p>It was Kurenai-sensei, dressed as usual in her mummy wrapping dress thing, her dark hair neatly cropped and combed back. Her scarlet eyes scrutinized them closely, and Naruto felt a shiver travel down his spine.</p><p>
  <em>Please be normal, Kurenai-sensei.</em>
</p><p>"Hinata, what happened to your eyes? You mean to say that you've strained them?" Kurenai asked, not unkindly.</p><p><em>Oh good. At least this sensei appreciates Hinata, not like the stupid, stupid Hyuuga,</em> Naruto thought in relief.</p><p>"Um, well, the thing is, Kurenai-sensei," Naruto said as politely as possible (being Hinata was <em>tough</em>). "I was having some training with Neji nii-san the other day, and I broke the Byakugan seeing record, ya kn – I mean, you see."</p><p>"And you strained your eyes by mistake?" Kurenai prodded.</p><p>Naruto nodded.</p><p>"Very well," said Kurenai-sensei. "Try not to overwork yourself, dear. It's not healthy."</p><p>Naruto grinned a very un-Hinata like grin. Yeah! Hinata had a nice, cool, awesome, normal sensei. This was amazing. No stupid obsession with Icha Icha, no stupid obsession with the springtime of youth, no worrying addiction like smoking.</p><p>"That said, we still have training," she said. "Hinata, it's fine even if you're incapacitated today. Just observe Kiba and Shino's taijutsu spar and correct them on their mistakes, so that everyone's time can be used productively."</p>
<hr/><p>What was Naruto thinking? Of course Kurenai-sensei wasn't <em>normal</em>.</p><p>Since when were any of the Konoha 11 sensei normal? He just didn't know her as well, and was lured into a false sense of comfort. He showed have known that the smoker (otherwise known as Asuma) would end up with the drinker (also known as Kurenai). Their love was clearly based on their mutual addiction.</p><p>Unfortunately, she wasn't very good at drinking. No, Kurenai-sensei was worse than baa-chan. How was it possible to be worse than baa-chan?</p><p>"You call that a punch, Kiba?" she roared, her eyes totally bloodshot. "I bet that the cute little Academy students could do better than that!"</p><p>Kiba winced at the extremely high volume of his sensei's voice. Akamaru whined and covered his snout with his paws. Even <em>Shino</em> looked vaguely perturbed, as evinced by the agitated buzzing of his insects.</p><p><em>Whoa, what the hell? </em>Naruto thought. <em>One bottle of sake and she goes berserk?</em></p><p>Who would have thought that this cool, savvy lady would become another Bushy Brows or baa-chan when she hit the bar?</p><p>Why was Hinata surrounded by freaks?</p><p>"And <em>you</em>, Shino." Poor Shino silently quaked in his boots. "Don't rely on your insects for taijutsu sparring matches. It doesn't help you improve and when you're facing a real enemy, you'll end up in massive trouble."</p><p>Naruto felt extremely grateful that he wasn't in her line of fire...yet. Oh no, how <em>did</em> Hinata deal with Kurenai-sensei when she was like this? Was this a normal thing?</p><p>His question to that was answered when Kurenai-sensei turned towards him with a smile.</p><p>"Hinata, dear, please step out of the line of fire," she said kindly.</p><p>Naruto complied immediately.</p><p>"It seems that you two have gotten rusty after one week of no practice. I'll have to discipline you. From this moment onwards, <em>I </em>will be your opponent."</p><p>Kurenai cracked her knuckles menacingly as she stepped onto the field, and then made a hand sign as fast as lightning. "Demonic Illusion: Tree Binding Death."</p><p>Naruto knew that Kurenai-sensei specialized in genjutsu. What he didn't realize was <em>how</em> much she specialized in genjutsu. He couldn't see anything, but it sure seemed like Kiba and Shino could. He winced as their screams echoed throughout the training ground.</p><p>Guilt steadily coursed through his spine. Sure...Shino and Kiba were kind of annoying, but they were good guys. Mostly. And this <em>was </em>just a training session; Kakashi-sensei had put Team 7 through worse. And if Tenten and Neji's grumblings were to be believed, they had to climb cliffs one-handed every two weeks. So he was sure that Kurenai-sensei wouldn't actually seriously injure them, but...</p><p>"AHHHHH. OH MY GOD, MY UNDERWEAR IS MUTATING."</p><p>"NOOOOO. KIKAICHUU, DON'T GO NEAR THOSE VENUS FLYTRAPS, YOU'LL DIE."</p><p>He shot Kurenai-sensei a strange look. What was happening in that genjutsu?</p><p>"AKAMARU, THOSE AREN'T DOG BISCUITS."</p><p>"STAY AWAY FROM THAT INSECTICIDE BOTTLE."</p><p>Okay...this was actually pretty funny. Kurenai-sensei turned and winked roguishly at Naruto.</p><p>"Enjoying the show, dear?"</p><p>Well...Kurenai-sensei wasn't normal, but she was awesome.</p><p>Were <em>all</em> of Team 8's practices like this? No fair, Team 7 was missing out. Team 8 seemed so much fun.</p><p>He wanted in on the action. And unfortunately for Kiba and Shino, this wasn't Hinata they were dealing with, but Naruto, a notorious prankster.</p><p>"Kurenai-sensei, can I wake them up from the genjutsu? For...training," Naruto said with a kind smile, that for once fit perfectly on Hinata's face.</p><p>"Do as you wish, Hinata." Kurenai-sensei sat down on a log to enjoy the fun in store.</p><p>Oh, it was so much fun.</p><p>Naruto walked up to them slowly and leisurely. And then –</p><p>"OWWWWWWW. HINATA, WHAT THE HELL?"</p><p>"It's time to wake up," he said sweetly. "Who wants ramen?"</p>
<hr/><p>The three of them were all seated at Ichiraku, Kiba and Shino slowly and gingerly plodding far behind Naruto during the walk to the eatery, as though each step caused them severe pain.</p><p>Because Naruto had decided to wake them up by kneeing them. In the groin.</p><p>"Thanks for the food!" he declared enthusiastically, digging into his very first extra large miso ramen of the day.</p><p>He wasn't sure if Hinata usually ate here, but he had a ramen addiction to take care of, a fact that did not go unnoticed by Hinata's team.</p><p>"You know...you've been acting really funny today, Hinata," Kiba said, taking in Naruto's voracious appetite with bafflement. "The way you're wearing ramen-themed sunglasses, the way you're eating so much ramen..."</p><p>"The way you played an extremely unsavory practical joke on us," Shino interjected, in a voice that surprisingly held no anger. Naruto supposed that no one on this team gave Hinata a hard time.</p><p>That was good.</p><p>"I get it!" Kiba said excitedly. "You want to impress that moron Naruto, right?"</p><p>Said moron blinked at Kiba in confusion. "Bwuh?"</p><p>"Indeed," said Shino. "I know that you have harbored affections for Naruto for a very long time, and you must be taking steps to ensure that your goal reaches fruition."</p><p>He really needed a Shino Translate.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Shino...kun, but I don't really understand what you mean," he said, once again torturing his casual speech patterns into those of Hinata's polite ones.</p><p>"Ha, don't be shy, we already know!" Kiba turned towards Shino. "What do you say we set them up on a date?"</p><p>Looked like Naruto really needed a Kiba Translate too. Why were they talking gibberish about dates?</p><p>"Yes, I do think that it would be appropriate for us, as Hinata's friends, to assist her in her amorous endeavors."</p><p>"Again, Shino, stop talking like a professor. You're so confusing!"</p><p>Naruto didn't get what was going on, but whatever. It seemed like they wanted to help Hinata out with something.</p><p>They were annoying, but they were good guys.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Day 4</h2></a>
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    <p>Teuchi had seen a lot during his decades as Konoha's Number One Ramen Chef.</p><p>No, really, he'd seen it <em>all</em>. He'd seen wild events involving a lunatic like Might Guy forcing his students to eat ramen while doing handstands. He'd seen heartwarming events, like the Sandaime bringing his kids to eat at Ichiraku for their first time ever. He'd seen sad events too, involving a lonely, gloomy child – Naruto, staring into his empty bowl after failing the Academy Exam twice in a row, and the corresponding happy event in which Naruto and Iruka-sensei celebrated how he passed after a fourth time.</p><p>So naturally, he'd long since stopped being surprised. After living in a ninja village long enough, you became inured to everything.</p><p>Until now. This was the Number One Most Bizarre Incident he'd ever witnessed in his long, long years as the owner of Ichiraku Ramen.</p><p>Did those kids really think he wouldn't notice that something funny was happening, just because he wasn't a ninja?</p><p>For the past four days, his Number One Customer had practically vanished off the face of the planet, save for a few token visits, in which he'd ordered curry ramen with wakame toppings (although his appetite was still...voracious).</p><p>That was strike one. Naruto <em>never</em> ordered curry ramen first. He always ordered an extra large bowl of miso ramen with chashu. <em>Always</em>. Teuchi had a sneaking suspicion that this was an early, ingrained habit from his childhood days – he still remembered that night many years ago, clear as day. He'd offered a shivering, freezing young child a place to sit and a meal to eat. Said child was Naruto. Said meal was miso ramen. Ever since then, Naruto would automatically order miso ramen first whenever he set foot in Ichiraku, which was for every breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner.</p><p>While any ramen was good ramen in Naruto's book, the miso ramen ritual was almost inviolable. Until he suddenly started violating it.</p><p>And then there was the fact that his dear Number One Customer no longer practically lived in Ichiraku. To be clear: unless Naruto had classes (back when he was in the Ninja Academy), unless he had training or missions (now that he was a ninja), he would be in Ichiraku. All. The. Time. He would even make his friends come over and force everyone to eat ramen with him, rather like the other lunatic, Might Guy, only Naruto didn't ask that they do handstands while eating.</p><p>This was also, Teuchi suspected, an early, ingrained habit from Naruto's childhood days. Naruto was an orphan. As he had no living relatives, he had no one to go home to.</p><p>Until Teuchi came along, and offered him a seat at Ichiraku. Since then, Ichiraku <em>was</em> his home away from home. Naruto never left if he could help it. And Teuchi was fine with it. If no mother or father was available to feed Naruto, then Teuchi would gladly do it on their behalf.</p><p>But for the past few days, Naruto inexplicably stopped living on the stool that was practically reserved for him. He was...somewhere else. Teuchi <em>knew</em> that it wasn't a mission, or training, because despite what people may have thought, he didn't magically stop noticing these things just because he wasn't a ninja.</p><p>That was strike two.</p><p>As for strike three...yeah, this was the most confusing part.</p><p>Another girl, someone he'd seen around the village, Hyuuga Hinata. A member of the prestigious Hyuuga clan, and a classmate of Naruto's, he believed...</p><p>Suddenly <em>she</em> was showing up at Ichiraku, no matter the hour, no matter if it was day or night. She would sit in Naruto's special seat, and she was currently carrying on Naruto's fine tradition of ordering an extra large bowl of miso ramen with chashu.</p><p>And wow, could she <em>eat</em>. Surprisingly, this was the only thing this girl had in common with his Number One Customer, it seemed. Even though Naruto was...behaving <em>strangely</em>, he could still put away all those bowls of curry ramen that he had inexplicably taken to ordering.</p><p>His suspicions were finally confirmed when this girl, Hinata, whom he'd previously assumed was a shy, sweet soul, suddenly and abruptly began speaking rather like...Naruto. A Naruto whom she was sitting next to on a...date? (He wasn't sure.) And Naruto, bold and outspoken soul that he was, seemed, for reasons unknown, to be acting very shy and sweet.</p><p>Like he said before, did these kids really think he wouldn't notice just because he wasn't a ninja? They were...doing something. Maybe it was a Transformation Jutsu, or maybe they'd switched bodies. Something like that.</p><p>Teuchi <em>knew</em>.</p><p>It was a different matter that Teuchi didn't care too much. They weren't panicking or seemingly in distress. In fact, they seemed normal, except for the bizarre personality swap. So he chalked it up to some funny training session they were undergoing, and didn't question them.</p><p>And well...both of them, together, were downing enough bowls of ramen to fill a large bathtub, so he wasn't about to complain.</p><p>Ninja were just strange. Teuchi could always count on them for surprises.</p><p>He had <em>two</em> Number One Customers now.</p>
<hr/><p>Kakashi couldn't help but giggle as he trained his eye on page 73 of Icha Icha Paradise, and his ears on Ichiraku Ramen, specifically on Naruto and Hinata. Or was it Hinata and Naruto?</p><p>Body swap? Yeah, he'd long since figured it out. Please, he was the Copy Ninja, Master of One Thousand Jutsu, former Anbu captain, and possible favorite to succeed the Godaime.</p><p>He was familiar enough with the workings of the Mind-Reverse Body Jutsu to understand what was going on. He'd been the victim of it once, for a few terrifying days, when one of the Yamanaka had deliberately hit him with it, and he was forced to be in <em>Guy's</em> body for a week. (Obito had such a field day when he found out; he <em>never</em> let Kakashi live it down.)</p><p>It was the stuff of nightmares.</p><p>And the stuff of teamwork.</p><p>He had to give Hinata and Naruto some credit. They were coordinating very well, considering the awkward and unfortunate situation they were forced into.</p><p>It was kind of funny actually, when he wasn't the one on the receiving end.</p><p>He knew that Hinata was in love with his cute, stupid student, and if he wasn't mistaken, Naruto might actually have been in love with her too. But as stated before, his student may have been cute, but he was stupid, and was oblivious to the fact.</p><p>He giggled again, flipping to page 74.</p><p>He wasn't going to interfere. Not that he could do anything to reverse the jutsu anyway; they still needed Ino to come back for that.</p><p>But he was <em>so</em> going to tell Jiraiya-sama about it. He would pay his entire salary for this incident to be turned into the next installment of Icha Icha.</p>
<hr/><p>For the past few days, Kurama had noticed something fishy going on with his idiot vessel.</p><p>Namely, that his idiot vessel was no longer his idiot vessel.</p><p>Naruto was gone, to be replaced with some...girl.</p><p>A quiet girl, seemingly meek at first. She was shy and dark where Naruto was loud and bright. But he could tell that she had hidden reserves of strength deep within her. If the brat Naruto reminded him of his old jinchuuriki, Kushina, then this girl reminded him of the Yondaime, Minato.</p><p><em>Not</em> that he cared. He was only interested in this information if it could somehow help him get rid of the accursed seal – which it couldn't.</p><p>That was what he told himself as he closed his eyes, trying in vain to forget blonde hair and bright smiles over bowls of ramen.</p><p>Naruto was just an idiot. There was nothing special about him, and nothing special about this girl, no matter how much that niggling voice at the back of his head disagreed, sounding far too much like the old Sage of Six Paths.</p><p>Kurama fell into a restless sleep.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Status of the Cult</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hinata had a bad, bad feeling when Neji approached her that afternoon, his teammates in tow. She hoped Naruto didn't...do anything over at the Hyuuga compound. Neji had an unusually strange, inscrutable look on his face.</p><p>"Naruto," he said quietly. "I need to tell you something."</p><p>And then he promptly grabbed her by the arm and dragged her off into some bushes in the nearby park, leaving his teammates far behind.</p><p>Naruto did something, didn't he?</p><p>Her thought process was derailed by Neji bringing his face far too close to hers and staring deeply into her eyes...or rather, Naruto's eyes. She blushed at the close contact.</p><p>Wait, Neji wasn't going to...?</p><p>"Naruto," he said again, in a voice that was both intense and...gentle? What was going on? "I know that I haven't ever said anything about this before, but you...you've helped me in many ways. Ways that I appreciate. And I've never thanked you. I'm sorry about that."</p><p>Hinata had a sneaking suspicion about where this was going, based on the close proximity of Neji's face to hers, the way he kept his hands clamped on her...<em>Naruto's</em>...shoulders, and the sincere look in his eyes.</p><p>She'd always had competition for Naruto. A hundred or more people were always grabbing his attention; whether it was his teammates, his sensei, or kids a few years younger than him, like Konohamaru. Even her <em>own</em> teammates were somewhat fixated on him, whether it was Kiba and his one-sided "rivalry" with Naruto, or Shino, who just wanted Naruto (and pretty much everyone else) to simply notice him. His big, bright smile tended to do that to people. She couldn't blame them for getting hooked, not when she was as well.</p><p>But she didn't expect <em>Neji</em> to be on the list too.</p><p>Neji noticed her look of surprise. Unfortunately, he got completely the wrong idea, because he blushed and took a deep breath, steadying his obviously frayed nerves.</p><p>"You might think that it's far too late for me to say this..."</p><p>Yeah, Neji was her competition too, it seemed. For Naruto's feelings.</p><p>She should have expected something like this. She knew that Naruto had made a huge impact on Neji during the Chuunin Exams. Her heart problems had acted out during their match and she had collapsed, but from what she had seen and heard afterwards, Neji was <em>changed</em>. Of course Neji would like Naruto.</p><p>Even the bushes that he had chosen for this rendezvous seemed perfect for saying whatever he wanted to say...</p><p>"But thank you for all that you've done for Hinata-sama."</p><p>
  <em>Huh?</em>
</p><p>"Um...what?"</p><p>What was going on? He...was not confessing?</p><p>"Hinata-sama informed me the other day that you were giving her confidence lessons," Neji said. "I really appreciate this, Naruto."</p><p>Confidence...lessons?</p><p>What on earth did Naruto tell Neji?</p><p>"As I told you, she accidentally injured her eyes, but I'm glad that your advice helped her break boundaries and take flying leaps ahead in her training," he continued obliviously. "Those who take risks are rewarded indeed. She's broken the Byakugan seeing record."</p><p>Oh, this again? The reason he had taken to wearing ramen-themed sunglasses, she supposed. Just as she began to relax, Neji dropped a real bombshell on her.</p><p>"Some of the Hyuuga have started a..." Neji frowned, scratching his head. "Well, Tenten calls it a <em>cult, </em>but Lee says that they are simply a passionate fanclub. They've started a cult, or perhaps a fanclub, around Hinata-sama."</p><p>Naruto did <em>not</em> inform her of this.</p><p>"What do you mean?" she asked cautiously.</p><p>What did Naruto <em>do</em>?</p><p>"They crowd around her room at night, begging for autographs. They want to sit next to her during mealtimes. They're offering her free gifts, and she is a hit with the younger crowd."</p><p>The soothing sunlight suddenly seemed piercing.</p><p>What...</p><p>Did...</p><p>Naruto...</p><p>
  <em>Do?</em>
</p><p>"It's all because of you, Naruto," said Neji, with a smile that he usually only reserved for Hinata. "She's carrying herself differently now. Thank you for making Hinata-sama believe in herself."</p>
<hr/><p>"What's up, Neji <em>nii-chan</em>?" Tenten asked teasingly. "Did your talk with Naruto go well?"</p><p>He tried in vain to scowl. Keywords: he <em>tried </em>in <em>vain</em>. He couldn't bring himself to scowl.</p><p>Because when Hinata-sama had called him nii-chan that day, he felt like he was floating on clouds. Although she didn't <em>seem</em> to hold him any ill will for the way he had mistreated her and almost killed her during their Chuunin Exams match, sometimes he woke up at night in a cold sweat, with tears pooling in his eyes.</p><p>He would have nightmares of striking Hinata-sama in the heart again.</p><p>And she wouldn't wake up.</p><p>Why did she forgive him? How could she have forgiven him? Sometimes he had a hard time believing it, because he still hadn't forgiven himself. He didn't believe that he had any right to do so.</p><p>But the fact that she did was there in the way she called him nii-chan.</p><p>So he couldn't bring himself to scowl.</p><p>"That reminds me, Team 7 and Team 8 are planning to set them up," Tenten said, seemingly unaware of his emotional tumult.</p><p>"Set who up?" asked Lee.</p><p>"Hinata and Naruto, you dummy. Honestly, Lee, get your head out of your springtime of youth fantasies for once and pay attention to what the other teams are up to."</p><p>This wasn't such a great thing for Tenten to say, because: "Yes! We must help Team 7 and Team 8 attain their full youthful potential, starting with one hundred handstands, two thousand push-ups..."</p><p>Neji tuned out the rest of Lee's speech. When you'd experienced one springtime of youth ramble, you'd experienced them all. The only thing that varied between them was the number of push-ups, sit-ups, bunny hopping, whatever (often they ranged in the thousands, and never below one hundred).</p><p>Team 7 and Team 8 were planning to set up Hinata-sama and Naruto, huh...?</p><p>Neji found that he didn't have any problem with that.</p><p>Hinata-sama smiled her best around Naruto. And Hinata-sama's smile would become big and bright. Naruto tended to do that to people. He couldn't blame Hinata-sama for it.</p><p>He really wanted her to always smile.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. A Stupid Plotting Session</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You've gotta be kidding me! Since when does Naruto bring you guys bentos for lunch?" Tenten asked incredulously.</p><p>"Since three days ago," Sakura responded smugly. "So far he's made us fried chicken, tamagoyaki, and..." She unwrapped today's offering. "Tempura! Wow, he's really outdone himself this time." She began digging into the carefully made lunch with gusto, which, besides tempura, included a surprising shock of leafy green.</p><p>It was a good thing that Hinata wasn't there. Actually, Sakura, Kiba, and Tenten had specifically planned this plotting session at an empty training ground so that neither Naruto or Hinata would be present, for, ahem...<em>reasons.</em></p><p>And Lee. They left out Lee, because after listening to the plotting session, he would definitely do something nightmarish, like encouraging Naruto and Hinata to confess their beautiful true love under the sunrise while doing a thousand sit-ups or something.</p><p>Unbeknownst to them, the abundance of bento lunches was mainly a byproduct of Hinata trying desperately to make sure that she wouldn't choke to death on an eggplant, as Kakashi-sensei had tried to do on the first day of the body swap lunacy. The bento boxes were paying off. So far, her tonsils were intact. In fact, Kakashi-sensei had, on the second day of the body swap lunacy, taken a good look at the bento, giggled, and patted Hinata's head.</p><p>"Wow, Naruto, you sure are spending a lot of time with Hinata, aren't you?" he asked kindly.</p><p>There were times like these when Hinata felt that he <em>knew</em>, but she would dismiss these thoughts as hallucinations of hers. Mainly because she didn't want it to be true. She was hoping to settle this discreetly when Ino came back – soon, she hoped – so that she and Naruto could get back to their normal lives and never talk about this ever again.</p><p>But back to the plotting session.</p><p>Tenten stared gloomily at her own lunch, which consisted of seventy oranges and an energy drink. Rather similar to Kakashi, and quite unlike Asuma and Kurenai, Guy <em>did</em> take a keen interest in his students' nutritional well-being (the ramen eating contests while doing handstands were an anomaly). The result being that every day, he would force his students to eat "healthy, youthful foods of springtime."</p><p>Seventy oranges. One energy drink. Ninety apples. And then two cups of apple juice. Forty carrots. A metric ton of grape juice. Huge quantities of natto ("Youthful ninja need their protein!"). That was what Team Guy went through every single day.</p><p>Guy-sensei was slowly killing his team with too much nutritional food. Tenten was understandably jealous of Team 7. The bento boxes that they were getting lately were healthy, but not torturous to get through.</p><p>"But didn't he live at Ichiraku Ramen before?" asked Neji.</p><p>"For some reason, Hinata's doing that lately," Kiba said. "Yesterday, she flattened Kurenai-sensei's wallet by eating twenty bowls of miso ramen in one shot. But she's always had a big appetite. And I can't get mad at her ever, but she's playing so many pranks on us now. She hid Shino's sunglasses in a tree and he went crazy for three hours searching for them. And she gave Akamaru catnip this morning. He got knocked out cold. She acted all polite and innocent, but I <em>know </em>she did it. She thought it was so funny."</p><p>"Hinata-san did all that?" Sai's lips quirked in surprise. "Wow, it's always the quiet ones."</p><p>"What's that supposed to mean?" Neji snapped. He was always sensitive lately whenever the topic of Hinata came up.</p><p>"Never mind," Sakura said hastily. Who knew what a socially awkward weirdo like Sai would spout in response to such a question. "We're getting off-topic. Can we get back to our plotting session?"</p><p>"I prefer not to refer to this discussion as a plotting session," Shino said, emerging from the shadow of a nearby tree and creeping up two inches behind Kiba. "We are merely assisting Hinata and Naruto in their amorous endeavors."</p><p>"Where the hell did you come from?" dog boy yelped. "And we've been over this so many times. <em>Please</em> stop talking like a professor."</p><p>"Anyway," Tenten broke in. "Don't you think they've been spending a lot of time together lately? I saw them together at Ichiraku a while back. And Naruto's been giving Hinata confidence lessons. Apparently it's working, because there's some kind of Hinata cult in the Hyuuga compound."</p><p>Sai opened his mouth, no doubt to say something ludicrously inappropriate in front of Neji, but Sakura elbowed him and he shut up.</p><p>"Yeah, Naruto's been trying to impress Hinata lately," Sakura said. "He's...well, he's Naruto, but now he's more patient. And he's eating things other than ramen. And he talks about things other than ramen. And during lunch, he doesn't force us all to go to Ichiraku to eat ramen. He even got Captain Yamato a book on gardening yesterday, which had nothing to do with ramen."</p><p>"Does Naruto's entire life revolve around ramen?" asked Tenten. "God, that's as bad as the two airheads on our team. It sounds so refreshing, right, now that he's stopped being that way? We need to keep this going."</p><p>"And that brings us to the main topic," said Sakura. "How do we set them up? Should we make them watch a movie together?"</p><p>"No," Neji said flatly. "Hinata-sama's eyes are still healing."</p><p>"Yakiniku Q?" suggested Tenten.</p><p>"I think Naruto's been making progress in eating healthy. Let's not ruin that," said Sakura, vetoing the idea.</p><p>"How about Ichiraku?" asked Sai.</p><p>"Are you stupid, Sai?" Sakura snapped. "What did we just discuss?"</p><p>"But both of them like Ichiraku, so it would be easy to set them up there – "</p><p>"Amaguriama?" suggested Neji. "Hinata-sama has a sweet tooth. She loves the sweet chestnuts there, and sometimes they have her favorite, cinnamon rolls."</p><p>"That's actually a good idea." Sakura nodded her head, sealing the plotting session. "All right, we'll make them have their date at Amaguriama, and hopefully these amazing behavioral changes will last. But before that, we need to prepare them for the date. Sai and I will handle Naruto."</p><p>"I'll handle Hinata-sama," Neji offered.</p><p>"Wait a second," said Sai, raising his hand. "What if they don't want to go to Amaguriama – "</p><p>Sakura elbowed him again. The plotting session was complete. However...</p><p>They really should've listened to Sai, as they would find out later.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Day 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hinata-sama, may I speak with you for a moment?" Neji asked Naruto, on the fifth day of the body swap lunacy.</p><p>Naruto, for once, decided to eat breakfast in the Hyuuga compound's dining area, rather than at Ichiraku, even though he really needed his daily ramen quota, despite what Sakura, baa-chan, and Kakashi-sensei said about this being "unhealthy." What did they know? Ramen was an amazing nutritious meal with all the vitamins, proteins, and other healthy whatever-the-hell his body needed to keep running.</p><p>But he had to be the best Hyuuga Hinata ever, ya know. And she didn't go to Ichiraku 24/7. He had a charade to keep up.</p><p>Little did he know that he was in fact not doing a very good impersonation of her, and that two people had already caught on, but that's for another time.</p><p>"Nee-sama, don't goooo," whined the small six-year-old girl who had decided to sit next to Naruto that morning. She grabbed at his arm and pulled, wrenching him down as he got up to follow Neji.</p><p>Neji was undeterred.</p><p>"I'll bring her back in ten minutes, Kaori," he said, and Kaori let go of him with a pout.</p><p>Naruto sighed. This kept happening all the time recently, and was another reason why he really loved eating at Ichiraku. These random Hyuuga kids would crowd around his seat, watching him avidly as he ate, as though the secrets of the universe were held in the way he loudly slurped at his tea. This was, whispered some kid named Kenji in awe, something "nee-sama" had never done before (he toned down the slurping after that).</p><p>But if they weren't watching him eat, they would ask him for tips. Not just tips related to the jyuuken or Byakugan, but random things that he had no answer to. Well, he thought he didn't have the answer to. Others clearly disagreed. Just last night, Hinata's little sister, Hanabi, had come to his room to talk about those mysterious diapers in Hinata's closet. She asked him if her "period" (whatever that was) would start soon, and if she would get cramps like everyone said. Of course he had no idea what to tell her, but Naruto did what he always did during exams when he didn't know the answer: he winged it.</p><p>
  <em>"Ahaha, Hanabi," he said, patting her head. "You're worried about that?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes," Hanabi said, watching him nervously, looking just like a mini-Hinata. "What should I do if I get cramps, nee-sama?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cramps? Like...stomach cramps? Iruka-sensei actually told him how to deal with those after he drank some spoiled milk...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Um...just...keep something hot on the place where it's cramping," he said. "It's a muscle re...re..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Damn, what was that word?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Relaxant?" Hanabi asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, exactly! And make sure to eat lots of ramen!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You could never go wrong with ramen, cramps or no cramps, right?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I see." Hanabi stared at him with something approaching gratitude. "Use a muscle relaxant...and eat ramen?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah!" Naruto said. "That last part is especially important!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"OK." Hanabi's face was set in determination. "I will use muscle relaxants and eat a lot of ramen."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then she wrapped up Naruto in a hug. "Thank you, nee-sama. You're the best."</em>
</p><p>What did Neji want? Did he need advice on dealing with cramps too?</p><p>"Hinata-sama," he said, when they finally reached her room. "You are fond of Naruto, are you not?"</p><p>Apparently he didn't need advice on cramps...</p><p>"I think so."</p><p>Hinata liked him, didn't she? They were friends and friends liked each other, didn't they?</p><p>"Yes, that's what we all believe," he muttered. "Hinata-sama, have you ever considered going on an outing with him?"</p><p>That was a strange question. "Haven't we already done that?"</p><p>"No, I mean a date, Hinata-sama," Neji persisted. "Have you considered going on a date with him?"</p><p>He didn't know what the answer to that was supposed to be. He wasn't Hinata, after all. Would Hinata actually want to go on a date with him? She was always nice to him, but that didn't mean that she wanted to <em>date</em> him.</p><p>And so, just like with Hanabi, he did what he always did when he didn't know the answer: he winged it.</p><p>"Yes!" he said. "I would love to go on a date with Naruto...kun."</p><p>What was he even talking about, anyway? Was he really saying that he'd like to go on a date with <em>himself</em>? This body swap lunacy was screwing with his mind.</p><p>"Very well," Neji said. "As your cousin, I am, of course, only interested in your happiness. Therefore..."</p><p>He grabbed Naruto and dragged him out of the Hyuuga compound and into the main street of the village.</p><p>"Um...Neji nii-san?" he asked tentatively. "What are we doing? And what about Kaori?"</p><p>"Never mind her," Neji responded. "We're going on a date."</p><p>What?</p><p>"Practice makes perfect," Neji said without even a hint of irony. "Hinata-sama, you've never been on a date before. You must practice like your life depends on it."</p><p>
  <em>What?</em>
</p><p>"There's no need to be embarrassed, Hinata-sama. I will help you."</p><p>
  <em>WHAT?</em>
</p><p>"You must ensure that Naruto does whatever you want during this date. For example, you love sweets, yes? You must make him buy sweets for you. To Amaguriama we go."</p><p>...</p><p>The Hyuuga were insane.</p>
<hr/><p>The past few days had seen bizarre happenings around Hinata. Hiashi was an eyewitness to many of the most insane developments.</p><p>Small Hyuuga children lining up outside his eldest daughter's room for her <em>autographs</em>. Older Hyuuga ninja asking for her advice on seeing two hundred miles away with the Byakugan. Escorts whenever she attempted to leave the compound. He even spotted one Branch teenager around Neji's age, waiting anxiously for her return from a practice with her team, his arms laden with intricately wrapped gifts.</p><p>It was a seismic shift. Long gone were the days when his fellow clansmen pretended that she didn't exist.</p><p>He didn't know what the source of this seismic shift was, but he often wondered. Like now.</p><p>It was almost 10 pm and Neji was dragging Hinata back into the compound courtyard, surprisingly oblivious to Hiashi staring at them from the corridor, even though he was right there in plain sight.</p><p>"Well done, Hinata-sama," he was saying. "That's exactly how you should be with Naruto on your date. Bold and assertive. Just like how you elbowed me in the face when I spilled hot tea on your hand by mistake, you must elbow Naruto in the face if he ever spills anything on you during your date."</p><p>"That was an accident," Hinata was muttering. "Anyway, why did we have to go on a practice date? It makes zero sense, you can't practice for dates. It's stupid."</p><p>"Practice makes perfect, Hinata-sama, practice makes perfect."</p><p>"You can't practice for dates!"</p><p>"You can practice for anything."</p><p>Hiashi <em>wondered.</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Dating Lessons with Team 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>While Neji was busy spilling hot tea on Naruto's hand, Hinata was undergoing a different method of...training.</p><p>Naruto's teammates were strange teachers of the art of mastering the perfect date. The first person whose teaching methods she'd experienced was Sai, who preferred to read out tips from random books he'd found in the bookstore and library.</p><p>Little did Hinata know that she'd be plunged into an existential crisis thanks to Sai's "dating advice," which lasted about five minutes because he was a socially awkward weirdo.</p><p>First, he had dragged her off into the library, attracting scandalized glares from the librarian, who seemed to be revolted at the sight of Sai's ink-stained hands. The library was pretty big, with rows upon rows of wooden bookshelves, but Sai was clearly an expert at navigating it, because he pulled a bunch of books off the shelves without even glancing at the titles, and dragged her off again to a nearby table, unceremoniously plonking the books down with a large <em>thud</em>, and earning more scandalized glares from the librarian.</p><p>"I'm so happy to have someone to practice human relationships with," he whispered to her, with his eyes closed in a smile that Hinata was growing accustomed to after five days of being exposed to it.</p><p>She gave a tentative smile back, even though she was very confused on why he wanted to "practice human relationships" with her. That doubt was answered with the first tome that Sai pulled out of the pile of books: <em>Dating Advice for Guys</em>.</p><p>"Do you want dating advice, Sai?" she asked.</p><p>It was just that she couldn't give him any, because she was not in fact a guy, despite being stuck in Naruto's body.</p><p>"Hmmm," Sai said thoughtfully. "Perhaps in the future, I could go on a date, don't you think, Naruto?"</p><p>"...Yes...?"</p><p>He did not answer her question. If he didn't want a date <em>now</em>, then what? He wanted practice in case he went on a date in the future? Hinata didn't know too much about dating, but she knew enough that you couldn't practice for things like that.</p><p>He was, as Hinata had learned over the past few days, prone to blurting out things because he'd read them in books. Someone had to tell him that there were some things that you couldn't learn in books.</p><p>"Sai, I don't think you can practice for dates," she said.</p><p>He shrugged. "Maybe, but it can't hurt to try." Flipping to the first chapter of the dating advice book, he began to read aloud, attracting yet more glares from the librarian.</p><p>"When you go on dates, it is always important to look your best. Wear the best clothes that you have."</p><p>Why was he telling her this? They were ninja, not beauticians. Only a few ninja even cared that much about clothes being pretty. Their uniforms were designed to be practical and comfortable. Or in her case...</p><p>Because she found baggy clothes easy to burrow into and hide in.</p><p>She frowned. Somehow, she felt gloomy thinking about this.</p><p>When she kept hiding, no one noticed her. No one looked at her. No one cared about her. She preferred things that way for a really long time.</p><p>Yet somehow, whatever Naruto was doing made the Hyuuga clan apparently look up and take notice, if the "Hinata cult" stuff was really true.</p><p>What did Neji say?</p><p>
  <em>"Thank you for making Hinata-sama believe in herself."</em>
</p><p>Did she really believe in herself?</p><p>Somehow Naruto seemed much better at being her than she herself.</p><p>She wished that self-belief was so easy that she could learn it from a book. Things would have been simpler that way.</p><p>"When going on dates," Sai continued, reading ever more loudly and failing to notice the librarian's increasing ire, "it's important for you to always pay for all the meals."</p><p>The librarian lady slowly crept up behind Sai, holding a giant encyclopedia menacingly.</p><p>"Always go wherever your girlfriend wants – "</p><p>"Um, Sai..." She tried to point out the dangerous lady behind him, to no avail. Sai was on a roll.</p><p>"And then you should – "</p><p>The librarian tapped Sai on the shoulder a little too sweetly, the action totally incongruous with the giant book she was holding in her hand like a deadly weapon.</p><p>Sai turned around very slowly, the smile on his face almost comical.</p><p>"And <em>then</em> you should..." the librarian began, swinging the book in slow motion. Hinata felt all her danger warnings go off. She barely managed to pull Sai out of harm's way.</p><p>The book swooshed through the air with the force of a hurricane.</p><p>The librarian was <em>scary</em>.</p><p>"SHUT THE HELL UP. THIS IS A LIBRARY."</p><p>And that was how Sai's "dating advice" came to an end.</p><hr/><p>Sakura's training technique consisted of the good old-fashioned method: rote learning and interrogation.</p><p>Naruto had warned her that Sakura might sometimes hit her for no reason. So far, that hadn't happened. She had no idea why. She tried and tried to be just like Naruto, to pull off a good impersonation, but clearly things weren't working, because the legendary temper that Naruto had warned her about in hushed tones had failed to materialize.</p><p>Sakura acted like a schoolteacher. A really strict schoolteacher, but not beyond that.</p><p>She still had no clue why Sakura and Sai were obsessed with giving her dating lessons, but she played along. Maybe it was a teamwork exercise that Kakashi-sensei had asked them to do.</p><p>"All right, Naruto, it's time for you to learn about the Big Threes of the dating world," Sakura had said, seating Hinata in an unused classroom in the Ninja Academy. "Repeat after me: I will comb my hair before I go on a date."</p><p>The hell was up with this training?</p><p>"I will comb my hair before I go on a date."</p><p>"Good. Now repeat this: I will always do whatever my date wants."</p><p>She thought this was kind of unfair to Naruto, but recited, "I will always do whatever my date wants."</p><p>"I will pay for all of my date's meals."</p><p>Why was this so one-sided?</p><p>"I will pay for all of my date's meals."</p><p>"Good job, Naruto!" Sakura gave her a satisfied smile. "Now's time for a pop quiz!"</p><p>What was she, seven years old? Sakura handed her a three page question paper, filled with what seemed to be multiple choice questions.</p><p>Hinata stared at the questions in shock.</p><p><em>Why</em>...</p><p>Did all the questions revolve around her?</p><p>
  <em>1. What is Hinata's favorite eatery?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>a) Ichiraku Ramen</em>
</p><p>
  <em>b) Yakiniku Q</em>
</p><p>
  <em>c) Amaguriama</em>
</p><p>
  <em>d) None of the above</em>
</p><p>
  <em>2. What is Hinata's favorite color?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>a) Green</em>
</p><p>
  <em>b) Orange</em>
</p><p>
  <em>c) Blue</em>
</p><p>
  <em>d) Purple</em>
</p><p>On and on it went. Hinata's favorite food, Hinata's hobbies, Hinata's favorite movies, Hinata's favorite books...</p><p>This was getting creepy. Did her teammates supply Sakura with all the trivia about her?</p><p>She felt a flash of irritation towards Shino and Kiba. What were they thinking?</p><p>To hell with it. She wasn't nearly as much a prankster as Naruto, but...</p><p>Hinata picked up the pencil that Sakura had provided and narrowed her eyes as she began to fill out the answers.</p><p>A deep, throaty snicker erupted somewhere in her stomach region.</p><p><em>"Naruto's hobby is watering plants,"</em>  said someone in a baritone voice.</p><p>The voice sounded both sadistic and amused, like it was delighting in the ludicrous situation that Ino had landed her in.</p><p>Okay, that was also really weird and creepy, but she filled in the answer anyway.</p><hr/><p>When Sakura checked the answers, Hinata finally got a taste of the medic-nin's legendary temper.</p><p>Kurama cackled.</p><p><em>These humans are so stupid, but they </em>are <em>entertaining,</em> he thought. <em>Might as well enjoy the show.</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. The Making of a Bestseller</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"This is stupid," Shikamaru said flatly.</p><p>Sakura narrowed her eyes dangerously. "What did you say?"</p><p>He yawned loudly. "I said that this is stupid."</p><p>Next to him, Chouji peacefully snacked on a bag of potato chips. Apparently, if Ino wasn't there, all that these two did was watch clouds and eat chips.</p><p>"I mean...seriously, you guys want us to join you in spying on Naruto and Hinata while they go on a 'date' that you all forced them to go on?" Shikamaru asked, settling back down onto the grass. "Do you think I have nothing less troublesome to do?"</p><p>At this point, Neji stepped forward. "I am only interested in Hinata-sama's happiness, and if Naruto makes her happy, then I approve," he said surprisingly calmly. "But to find out if Naruto makes her happy, we have to watch them. This will be a daunting task for only Tenten and me, or only Sakura and Sai."</p><p>"Don't you have another guy on your team? Lee?" Shikamaru asked drowsily. "Why us?"</p><p>"Lee is insane, that's why," Tenten protested. "He'll blow our cover in no time by yelling about how spring is the season of love."</p><p>"But it's summer," Chouji said.</p><p>"Doesn't matter to Lee," she muttered. "Every season is springtime to him."</p><p>"Shikamaru, if you don't come with us tomorrow to watch out for Naruto and Hinata, then I will tell your mother that you like to blow off your friends and she will kill you," said Sakura.</p><p>Shikamaru turned pale.</p><p>"You <em>wouldn't</em>."</p><p>"I will."</p><p>Calm, steely green eyes met fearful brown eyes. Several seconds passed.</p><p>Shikamaru blinked.</p><p>"I guess that's settled then," Sakura said cheerfully. "Meet us at noon tomorrow at the dango shop."</p><p>With that, the trio left, leaving Shikamaru and Chouji to go back to their cloud-watching and chip-eating.</p><p>Shikamaru miserably stared up at a crow-shaped cloud. "Just when I thought we'd get a nice, relaxing, Ino-free week, her body double shows up to bother us and force us to go on stupid missions."</p><p>"I think it could be fun," Chouji said amiably around a mouth full of BBQ-flavored chips. "If they're going to a place that has great food."</p><p>"Chouji, you're under orders from the Godaime not to eat out for one more week thanks to what happened at that party a few days ago."</p><p>"But that wasn't my fault," he protested. "It was Akamaru – "</p><p>"No one cares, Chouji, we can't punish dogs. You were the fall guy, but what can we do?"</p>
<hr/><p>Meanwhile, at the dango shop that Sakura had just been discussing, two of Naruto's sensei were hanging out, ostensibly for enjoying the delectable desserts, but in reality for something else entirely.</p><p>Kakashi had never seen Jiraiya-sama with such an avid, determined look of concentration before, not even when he warned Kakashi about the dangers of Naruto's Kyuubi cloak.</p><p>There was only one thing that this could have possibly been about: Icha Icha.</p><p>"I see, I see," Jiraiya was muttering, biting his lip while taking exhaustive notes being dictated to him by Kakashi. "These two...switched bodies five days ago, and no one noticed?"</p><p>Kakashi smiled gleefully. "Everyone has noticed that there's something <em>off</em>, Jiraiya-sama, but they all think that Naruto is giving Hinata confidence lessons."</p><p>"Ohoho, that's a good plotline...confidence lessons." He made a note in his book with his signature, messy scrawl, surprisingly not giggling as he was usually wont to do while conducting "research."</p><p>It left Kakashi awestruck with just how much attention and care that Jiraiya put into Icha Icha. The way the Sannin's brow scrunched up, his eyes narrowed, his grip on the pen so tight that his knuckles turned white...not even <em>Guy</em> displayed this much dedication during their rivalry contests...okay, maybe that was an exaggeration. But still...</p><p>Kakashi was witnessing a new Icha Icha volume being written, right in front of his eyes, and he felt as though he was watching history being made. How many people in the world could say they had such a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?</p><p>Truly legendary.</p><p>"When will this new volume be released, Jiraiya-sama?"</p><p>"Hmmm...usually it takes me six months to write my first draft, but thanks to all the new info you gave me, Kakashi, I think I can finish it in four months this time."</p><p>Kakashi could have died from happiness. New Icha Icha in just four months!</p><p><em>Thank you so much, Ino,</em> he thought.</p><p>And thus was a bestseller born.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Day 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Remember what I told you!" Sakura yelled at Hinata, before pushing her into the street. "Now go!"</p><p>Hinata stumbled a little with the force of Sakura's shove before straightening up and walking off. For some reason, after dragging Hinata out of Naruto's house at noon, Sakura had claimed that she had "urgent business" with someone, but that she was busy with "stuff" and that Hinata had to go in her place. It was all so mysterious.</p><p>So she kept walking, wondering who this person was that Sakura was supposed to meet. She rounded the corner, wondering if this mystery person was some sensei or chuunin with some message for Sakura, but as she reached the dango shop –</p><p>She slammed right into herself, or rather, Naruto stuck in her body. The force of the impact knocked her off-balance and she tripped, only for a pair of warm hands to reach out and grab her tight.</p><p>"Whoa there, Hinata! You sure are clumsy, ya know?" Naruto said, grinning sheepishly and rubbing the back of his head...or her head...or whatever. Hinata was done trying to make sense of the body swap after six days of madness.</p><p>She looked around and to her relief, no one was in the vicinity to hear something so incomphrensible.</p><p>She was also exhausted, exhausted with the sheer effort of trying to be Naruto for almost a week now, and therefore threw caution to the winds.</p><p>"Naruto-kun, are you the person whom Sakura-san asked me to meet?" she asked.</p><p>"Maybe." Naruto frowned. "Your teammates kinda dragged me out of the Hyuuga compound and told me to go to the dango shop. I asked them why, but they wouldn't tell me."</p><p>Hinata had a bad, bad feeling about this.</p><p>"I think everyone is up to something," she said quietly. "Yesterday, Sai-kun took me to the library to get 'dating advice,' and Sakura-san gave me a quiz that revolved entirely around silly trivia about me. It was strange."</p><p>"You too, huh? Yesterday, your weirdo cousin dragged me around the village like a poodle because he wanted to practice dating with me. I have no idea why, though."</p><p>She didn't know what they were up to, and for the moment, she decided to put it out of her head.</p><p>She was alone! With Naruto. Despite the truly unfortunate situation they were in, she couldn't help but feel a fluttering in her chest at the thought. It...it was almost...like a...</p><p>"Anyway, I think we need to update each other on the current situation of our top-secret S-rank mission, ya know!" Naruto said. "Where do you wanna go, Hinata? How about..."</p><p>"Ichiraku?" she suggested. "I've been trying out their curry ramen lately, and it's amazing. And besides, Teuchi-san is always busy cooking and he never bothers us."</p><p>Naruto beamed. "Wow, really? I didn't know that you were into their ramen, Hinata."</p><p>"I ate thirty bowls of it the last time we were there," she pointed out.</p><p>"Yeah, I remember. I thought you were just trying to impersonate me as much as possible. It was scary, ya know."</p><p>She poked her fingers together. "Not...<em>all</em> of it was me trying to impersonate you. I love ramen."</p><p>He glanced at her shyly. "I've never met anyone who could eat more ramen than me. You were scary, but it was super cool."</p><p>The fluttering in her chest intensified.</p><p>"It's like you're better at being me than me, ya know."</p>
<hr/><p>"Code red, code red! Sakura, come in!" Kiba yelled anxiously into his walkie-talkie, while watching from his perch on a nearby tree along with Shino. "Hinata's going to Ichiraku Ramen with Naruto! Why? <em>W</em><em>hy</em> is she going to Ichiraku Ramen with Naruto?"</p><p>Cursing sounds were coming in from Sakura's end. Then she subjected the poor guys of Team 8 to an ear-splitting explosion.</p><p>"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY'RE GOING TO ICHIRAKU? I SPECIFICALLY <em>TOLD </em>THE BLONDE IDIOT TO TAKE HINATA TO AMAGURIAMA."</p><p>"You must have said something to confuse him! Why the hell are they going to Ichiraku?"</p><p>"Excuse me, what the hell? <em>I </em>confused him? I gave him a freaking pop quiz that revolved entirely around what Hinata likes!"</p><p>Then Neji's calm but taut voice broke in to cut across their squabbling:</p><p>"Everyone, I think it's best for us to just shadow them to Ichiraku to observe them and intervene, if necessary."</p><p>"May I ask a question?" Sai asked. "What if Hinata-san and Naruto didn't understand that you wanted them to go on a date?"</p><p>Sakura elbowed Sai, making him shut up.</p><p>She really should have listened to Sai.</p><p>But they all hastened to hide themselves in a corner of the shop next to Ichiraku.</p><p>They were about to get a front-row seat to the show...um, date. Yes, date.</p>
<hr/><p>"So anyway, while Shino was taking a nap, I went and took the glasses off his face!" Naruto said, while slurping up his number one favorite miso ramen.</p><p>"What? You actually saw Shino-kun's eyes?" Hinata asked, similarly slurping up her number one favorite curry ramen.</p><p>"Well no, I mean, he woke up and went crazy trying to search for them and that took almost three hours and he was moving around a lot, so I didn't get to see his eyes, ya know."</p><p>"Okay," she mumbled, deflating a little. It would have been fun if Naruto had actually seen Shino's eyes. She'd always wondered what they looked like.</p><p>"So how are things on your end of our S-rank mission, Hinata?" Naruto asked cheerfully, actually setting down his ramen bowl and turning his full focus and attention onto Hinata.</p><p>The sincere, earnest look in his...<em>her</em>...eyes took Hinata's breath away. Well, he was wearing ramen-themed glasses, so she couldn't really see his eyes, but she could <em>feel</em> the sincerity, so it counted!</p><p>"Um...well." She fidgeted uncomfortably, not used to having such attention from him. "I've been making bentos for your teammates, to...to get to know them better."</p><p>At this, he stopped and blinked in surprise. "You made them bentos? Really?"</p><p>She knew it. She was a terrible Naruto. Regardless of what he may have said earlier on, he was the one who was better at being her, not the other way around.</p><p>"...Yes. And Kakashi-sensei stopped trying to kill me with eggplants."</p><p>Naruto's eyes became as round as saucers. "He stopped that daily nutritional meal intake craziness? You made him stop? <em>How?"</em></p><p>"Ah...aha, um, I made friends with your neighbor, Tsujiko-san," she said, desperately trying to change the subject.</p><p>This was clearly not the best way to change the subject. His mouth hung open, leaving a bit of noodle trailing down his lip.</p><p>"She's not that bad once you get to know her!" Hinata defended weakly.</p><p>"H...how?" Naruto said, even more weakly. "That old lady <em>hates</em> me. She tries to hit me with a pan every other day."</p><p>"..."</p><p>What was she supposed to say to that?</p><p>"Did you ever annoy Sakura-chan? She's always saying that I'm annoying her," he persisted.</p><p>"Ah, no."</p><p>Well, there was that time yesterday with the quiz, but she supposed that it didn't count, seeing as how she filled out all the answers wrong on purpose.</p><p>Naruto looked devastated. Concern surged in Hinata's stomach.</p><p>"Naruto-kun? What's wrong?"</p><p>Naruto put his head on the counter, looking like he wanted to curl up into a ball and burrow underground.</p><p>It was, for once, a posture that did not look out of place with Hinata's body.</p><p>"You...you're better at being me than me," he said again. "I mean, when I'm pretending to be you, I always screw things up, ya know? I couldn't even turn on your Byakugan properly." He tapped on the frames of the ramen-shaped sunglasses. "And you're making friends with people I couldn't make friends with. You're not annoying the people I annoy. You're nice to everyone. No one on your team ever gets mad at me, because they think I'm you. Because you're not stupid or annoying like me. You even got Kakashi-sensei to stop trying to kill me with his veggies. It's like you're the kind of person I should have been."</p><p>Hinata's eyes burned. He was totally wrong.</p><p>"That's...that's not true. You've gotten it all backwards," she said sadly. "When it was me in my own body, no one in the Hyuuga cared about me. No one looked at me. It was like I didn't exist. But they're noticing you. They like you. They all look up to you, Naruto-kun. Because – "</p><p>"Because they're stupid, that's why!" Naruto said loudly. "You're so smart, and pretty, and strong, and brave, and that's why I can't pretend to be you, ya know! Because no one can be you except you. You're too amazing to imitate."</p><p>She shrank a little in on herself at the effusive praise he was heaping on her. "W-why do you think so highly of me, Naruto-kun?"</p><p>"Because I told you already, I love people like you!"</p><p>"..."</p><p>It would have been a heartwarming moment, but then an ominous crack resounded from the roof. Everyone looked up, and just in time to see...</p><p>Chouji crashing in from the ceiling, falling in from the awnings and directly onto the counter, splashing hot broth everywhere.</p><p>Hinata barely pulled Naruto out of harm's way, but poor old Teuchi was not so lucky. The unfortunate old man yelled in pain as he was doused in his own boiling hot miso soup stock.</p><p>"What's going on?" asked Naruto, using his hands to shield his beloved ramen sunglasses from harm's way.</p><p>Food boy sheepishly extricated himself from the mess. To his credit, he seemed fully aware of the chaos he had caused and reached out to pull Teuchi up.</p><p>"Ahaha, sorry about that," he said, his cheeks pink.</p><p>And Shikamaru's voice rang out, also from the awnings.</p><p>"Chouji, seriously, I <em>told </em>you that this was a terrible idea. Why do you think Tsunade-sama banned you from eating out for a week?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. The Top-Secret S-Rank Mission Ends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Naruto and Hinata gaped at the chaos.</p><p>Poor old Teuchi, his arms and hands a light pink thanks to the scalding he'd received, with an expression of deep irritation on his face. Pots and pans knocked down and lying haphazardly on the floor. A large quantity of precious, amazing miso broth in a massive puddle, something that made both Naruto and Teuchi want to cry. Good thing Ayame was out shopping for ingredients, or there would have been <em>three</em> extremely upset people to deal with.</p><p>And in the midst of it all, the two guys of Team 10 standing in the wreckage – the perfect, ideal targets of a ramen shop owner's wrath.</p><p>"What the hell do you kids think you're doing?" he snarled with rare (although justified) anger, brandishing a wickedly heavy-looking rolling pin.</p><p>"It's not what you think!" Shikamaru yelped, standing protectively in front of his best friend.</p><p>Naruto had a flashback to Hinata saying the same thing a few days ago, and that was when he knew that he was about to witness a trainwreck.</p><p>He was right.</p><p>Seconds later, Sakura burst into the shop.</p><p>"CHOUJI!" she bellowed. "WHEN I TOLD YOU TO HIDE SOMEWHERE TO WATCH THEM, I DIDN'T MEAN ON THE ROOFTOP."</p><p>"Uh...Sakura..." said Shikamaru.</p><p>She scowled, her hair windswept as though from a tempest. Looking at the disaster in the shop, it would have made perfect sense for anyone to assume that.</p><p>Shikamaru gingerly pointed at Naruto and Hinata, who were both now staring at Sakura in shock. The medic-nin whirled around, noticing them for the first time, freezing up as she realized her mistake.</p><p>"Oh," she said in a horrorstruck voice. "I shouldn't have said that."</p><p>"You <em>think</em>?" snapped Shikamaru. "Now what do we do?"</p><p>What should they do indeed? That question was answered when everyone else burst into the shop, summoned by Kiba's emergency code red alert.</p><p>Neji, Tenten, Sai, Kiba, Shino, even Lee, whom Tenten had been sure was doing ten thousand sit-ups off in the outskirts of Konoha or something.</p><p>
  <em>Everyone.</em>
</p><p>Ichiraku was getting awfully crowded. And then Sai had to go and make things worse.</p><p>"See, Sakura, I told you so," he said, smiling his placid smile.</p><p>Sakura cracked her knuckles menacingly, ready to give Sai a piece of her mind through her fists, but then Chouji decided that it was now <em>his</em> turn to go and make things worse.</p><p>"Um..." he said awkwardly, raising his hand as though he was in class. "Naruto, Hinata, while I was...spying on you..." He winced upon seeing their twin enraged expressions. "I couldn't help but notice that you two seemed to have switched bodies. Like you got hit with Ino's Mind-Reverse Body Jutsu."</p><p>A pin-drop silence descended on the entire group as their jaws all dropped in unison.</p><p>Hinata and Naruto exchanged tired looks. Looked like their top-secret S-rank mission was over. And here they wanted to be discreet too.</p><p>Sakura was the first to recover from this bombshell. Or perhaps she didn't recover, because her wide-eyed look would not have looked out of place on a fish.</p><p>"You..." She pointed at the pair, a vein in her jaw twitching dangerously. "You...and him...you...switched...and...and..."</p><p>"Okay, that's it." Shikamaru deftly jumped over the countertop and made his way into the street. "I'm leaving. This is too troublesome to deal with. Bye."</p><p>They gazed at the red swirl on the back of his chuunin vest as he left, all so flabbergasted that no one attempted to stop him.</p><p>"When...when did this happen?" asked Chouji.</p><p>Surprisingly, it was Teuchi who answered. "Six days ago. During some Rookie 9 get-together party or something, I don't know."</p><p>"How do <em>you</em> know that, Teuchi-san?" Sakura asked, finally regaining full control of her vocal cords.</p><p>He scowled as he began rummaging around the tiny shop in search of a mop. "Just because I'm not a ninja doesn't mean that I'll magically stop noticing these things, you know."</p><p>The incredibly grumpy owner of Ichiraku noisily picked up all the pots and pans and began mopping up the spill with extremely frightening vigor. "Chouji, I'm charging you for this mess."</p><p>"So...so...those bentos you made...that ointment you gave me...how you stopped talking about ramen all the time...that was...<em>you</em>, Hinata?" Sakura asked.</p><p>Hinata, stuck in Naruto's body, could not give any response except to poke her fingers together, which was just as well, as the tic was the answer to Sakura's question on its own.</p><p>The blood slowly drained out of Sakura's face, giving it a pallor to rival Sai's. "Then yesterday, it wasn't Naruto I punched in the face?"</p><p>"Ah, no," Hinata said, turning Naruto's face a lovely scarlet. Yet she was still composed compared to Sakura, who...wasn't. "Are you all right, Sakura-san?"</p><p>"The ramen shop owner noticed but I didn't." Sakura had by now sunk to the floor and was swaying unsteadily like a leaf in the breeze. "The ramen shop owner...<em>the ramen shop owner...oh my God.</em>"</p><p>There was someone else who had a near-catatonic reaction to this news just like Sakura, and it was –</p><p>"So Naruto was the one who caused Hinata-sama's eye sprain?"</p><p>Poor Neji. Poor, <em>poor</em> Neji. It was like he was carrying on the grand Hyuuga tradition of spontaneously developing facial seizures in response to lunatic happenings.</p><p>Just like Hinata, Naruto could not give any response except to rub the back of his head and laugh sheepishly, which was just as well, as the tic was the answer to Neji's question on its own.</p><p>"You weren't having confidence lessons together?" Neji asked, the veins near his temple looking fit to burst.</p><p>"Nope! I made that up so that no one would notice that we'd switched bodies!" Naruto said cheerfully. Perhaps he was happy that the game was over. Pretending to be someone else was exhausting, after all.</p><p>"So the Hyuuga...we...we all started a cult around <em>you</em>?"</p><p>"Neji, they are not a cult, merely a very youthful, passionate fanclub," corrected Lee.</p><p>This was clearly too much for Neji's blood pressure. He also sank to the ground just like Sakura, and began muttering darkly under his breath.</p><p>
  <em>"Can't believe...ramen-themed sunglasses...ramen obsession...why...why?"</em>
</p><p>Tenten sighed heavily. "Lee, I'm going to carry Neji away. I think he needs to lie down for a little."</p><p>She slung Neji over her shoulder easily like a sack of potatoes (he did not protest) and began a brisk walk down the street.</p><p>"Pardon me for the interruption, but I have an inquiry to make," said Shino. No one could tell what was going under those glasses, but there was an ominous buzzing sound emanating from his body. "Why? Because I must confirm whether it was truly Naruto who subjected Kiba and me to a multitude of extremely unsavory – "</p><p>"For the last time, Shino, stop talking like a professor!" Kiba snapped. "Weren't you listening? <em>Yes</em>, it was Naruto who kneed us in the groin, stole your sunglasses, and gave Akamaru catnip! Get it through your head."</p><p>Shino opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by a very familiar voice.</p><p>"Chouji!" someone yelled. "Are you in here? We're all back from our mission! I thought you'd be in Yakiniku Q, but you weren't there and I was looking all over for you!"</p><p>It was <em>her</em>.</p><p>The source of all chaos.</p><p>Yamanaka Ino finally appeared at the entryway of Ichiraku Ramen after almost a week of absence. She looked good, like she had been on a vacation instead of a mission, her skin suntanned from a nice week at the Land of Fire's capital, her blonde hair bleached with the summer sun, wearing a clean, washed purple outfit, her arms laden with souvenirs.</p><p>"Look, I even got some of your favorite foods from the capital city," she said, beaming as she walked into the chaos.</p><p>Then her eyes widened as she finally absorbed all the pandemonium.</p><p>"What's going on?"</p><p>And once again, Sai had to open his mouth and make things worse.</p><p>"Hello, Miss Beautiful," he said, giving Ino a friendly wave. "It seems like you've caused quite a bit of trouble without even being here."</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Things Don't Go Back to Normal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Nee-sama!" her little cousin called out, rushing up to sit next to her as she entered the dining area and sat down.</p><p>"Hinata-sama, can you please show me the thing you did to see two hundred miles?"</p><p>"Nee-sama, can I have your autograph?"</p><p>"Nee-sama, will you go to the movies with me?"</p><p>Hinata felt kind of overwhelmed as she began eating dinner, the first dinner she'd had in the Hyuuga compound in her own body in six days.</p><p>She didn't usually like to eat here, preferring Team 8's semi-regular meet-ups at Kiba's house, where they would always be subjected to Tsume-san's toxic dog biscuit-flavored, but lovingly made concoctions. Of course, her clan began treating her better after Naruto knocked the daylights out of Neji back during the Chuunin Exams, but it was still a far cry from the enthusiastic reception that she was receiving now.</p><p>"Ah, Reijiro oji-san, I'd be delighted to do so tomorrow morning, although I'm sorry that I can't personally demonstrate to you for a few more days." Hinata tapped the ramen-themed sunglasses she still had to wear, even after the body swap lunacy had ended. "And Kaori, sure, I can sign one for you after dinner. And Kenji, of course we can go to the movies together. But only after I remove these glasses. The doctor says my eyes are still sensitive to bright lights."</p><p>She smiled kindly at this cult, or youthful, passionate fanclub that Naruto had cultivated for the past few days, and it was as though her simple gesture sent an electric shock throughout the group.</p><p>"That's the Hinata-sama I know and love."</p><p>"She's so awesome and nice, I should have always known that she'd agree."</p><p>"Hinata-sama sure is amazing, isn't she?"</p><p>It was a bit strange that this fanclub refused to go away, even after she reverted to her normal, non-Naruto personality. It was a bit strange that they even preferred her normal, non-Naruto personality right now, even after experiencing whatever he'd done to create this cult.</p><p>She thought back to his words at Ichiraku, right before Chouji crashed in through the ceiling.</p><p>
  <em>"Because no one can be you except you. You're too amazing to imitate."</em>
</p><p>Too amazing, huh? Well, Hinata didn't know about that. But the Hyuuga seemed to agree.</p><p>She'd have to think about this a bit further.</p><p>She'd have to think about the <em>other</em> thing Naruto had said to her too, when he said that he "loved people like her." He'd said something just like that before, didn't he? Right before he went to face Neji at the Chuunin Exams.</p><p>But what did he <em>mean</em> by it? She'd have to ask him tomorrow.</p><p>Neji knocked on her room door later that night.</p><p>"Hinata-sama," he greeted. "It's...it's good to see that you're...back."</p><p>"It's good to see that <em>you're</em> back," she replied. "Are you all right? Tenten-san had to carry you away because you went into a state of shock."</p><p>He stared at the ground gloomily. "Yes, well, I'm all right now." He reached into the folds of his kimono and pulled out a box of Hinata's favorite cinnamon rolls.</p><p>Hinata's eyes widened.</p><p>"I got these for you," he said. "Because you didn't get to go to Amaguriama today like Naruto and I had practiced."</p><p>She didn't usually like to eat in the Hyuuga compound, but that was changing fast, wasn't it?</p><p>"Don't just stand there in the doorway," Hinata said. "Come in...Neji nii-chan."</p><p>And she had to hold back a smile as Neji blushed all the way to the roots of his hair, just as Naruto had described.</p><p>Maybe the body swap wasn't all that bad.</p>
<hr/><p>Naruto had barely reached his bedroom, ready to fall asleep after a long, exhausting week, only to be defeated in this purpose by three loud knocks on the door.</p><p>"I'm coming!" he called out, slowly shuffling out of the bedroom and into the living room, fumbling to switch on the lights.</p><p>He opened the door just a crack, wondering who on earth would visit him at this time. As far as he knew, Sakura had gone home so that she could recover from her...um, shock, and who knew where Kakashi-sensei, Sai, and Captain Yamato were? He hadn't seen them in hours.</p><p>And then his jaw dropped. It was his neighbor, Tsujiko baa-chan. She looked way better than she usually did in the morning. Her gray hair was tied in an oddly neat bun and her pink kimono was crisp and well-laundered. He gingerly opened the door all the way once he saw that she wasn't armed with any pots and pans to clobber him with, no doubt thanks to Hinata's influence.</p><p>"Baa-chan, what are you doing here?" he asked tiredly.</p><p>"Hmph, I see that you're back to your old bratty self," she huffed, but surprisingly, she didn't really sound too angry. She grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him out of his house.</p><p>"Come with me," she said. "I was told by your sensei, Kakashi or whatever, that you need something called a daily nutritional meal intake, or that you'll die from eating too much ramen."</p><p>He froze in horror.</p><p>Oh.</p><p>Oh no.</p><p>This couldn't be happening to him. He'd just gotten his body back.</p><p>Naruto screamed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Day 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Naruto looked at his reflection nervously, deflating as he took in his stubbornly spiky blonde hair, impervious to any and all grooming. For once, he'd actually taken Sakura's advice to him and combed his hair before this...date. Or rather, her advice to Hinata, when Sakura thought she was him (Hinata had told him all about <em>that</em> after they'd reverted to their original bodies). But it seemed to be of no use.</p><p>Was this actually a date? Or was it just an "outing"? If it was just an outing, then why did his palms feel so sweaty at the thought?</p><p><em>Why are you feeling so worked up?  </em>he scolded himself. <em>It's just you going to eat ramen with Hinata. You've done it a million times before!</em></p><p>Someone deep in his belly snickered sadistically. <em>I used to think that you and that girl were nothing special, but you've proven me wrong. Your stupidity...now</em> that<em> is truly special.</em></p><p><em>Eh?</em> Naruto blinked. How strange for the Kyuubi to speak to him. It wasn't like they were friends or anything...</p><p>Normally, he would have worried that the seal on his stomach was damaged somehow, but he didn't think that was the case this time. For some reason, the fox was having a good laugh at his expense, that was all.</p><p>Not that his cruel glee was exactly appreciated by Naruto at this point in time – not when he didn't have any good clothes to wear on this...outing. Yeah. Just an outing. But Sai had told Hinata that it was important for guys to look their best and the only thing he could come up with was his orange and black ninja uniform. Was it his <em>best</em>?</p><p>He didn't know. But it was his <em>only</em>.</p><p>He was broken out of his thoughts by the clock striking noon. Oh no. He was going to be late. The number one rule for outings was to never be late. He hoped Hinata wouldn't be mad at him.</p><p>As it turned out, he didn't have to worry about her being mad at him, not when she was five minutes later than he was.</p><p>Her dark hair was windswept like she had run all the way to Ichiraku from the Hyuuga compound and didn't have time to breathe. Her ramen-themed sunglasses were slightly askew, and her white-purple jacket was unzipped, as though she had left her house in a tearing hurry. It seemed that she was just as nervous as he was.</p><p>Didn't <em>he</em> do something like that, exactly one week ago?</p><p>Maybe deep down, they were both the same kind of person inside. The thought made him smile.</p><p>"Hi, Hinata, I've been waiting for you, ya know!" he said, beaming at her.</p><p>"Sorry I'm late," she said, her hands on her knees, taking deep, huffing breaths. "I hope you're not too angry at me, Naruto-kun."</p><p>He simply continued smiling a big, bright smile, and Hinata slowly relaxed as she came to notice this.</p><p>"Anyway, let's eat!" she said, quickly turning away, as though his smile was difficult to look at.</p><p>Together, they entered Ichiraku Ramen, both surprised that yesterday's damage had been wiped clean without a trace. Teuchi worked fast, it seemed.</p><p>They settled down at their favorite seats, each ordering the same thing – shio ramen, a light one that Naruto tended to get when his stomach felt jittery (and during other occasions, but today he was jittery).</p><p>Why did Hinata order the same thing?</p><p>Was she...</p><p>"Naruto-kun, how are things with your team now?" Hinata asked as they began to eat.</p><p>"Oh, um..." He rubbed the back of his head. "I guess things are back to normal. Even Sakura-chan seemed okay this morning. But Kakashi-sensei was acting so weird. He was so jumpy and excited, and he even showed up on time for once. What about you?"</p><p>She smiled. "Shino-kun and Kiba-kun are very upset with you, Naruto-kun. They keep talking about payback for 'what you did to them.'"</p><p>A chill ran down his spine. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"I don't know the details, but Shino-kun had a dark cloud of bugs swarming around his head while he was saying this."</p><p>Naruto gulped the broth down so fast that this tongue and throat burned.</p><p>Oh no. First the daily nutritional meal intake torture, now this?</p><p>"And the fanclub or cult that you started still hasn't gone away, Naruto-kun," Hinata continued. "They keep going on about me. Hinata-sama this and Hinata-sama that, they keep calling me amazing." She shrugged self-deprecatingly. "I don't really know why."</p><p>"I told you already, it's because you <em>are</em> amazing," he said. He didn't know what was so hard to understand here. "You have a Byakugan, but you can't see this? Why?"</p><p>"There's nothing amazing about me, Naruto-kun. You're the one who's amazing, not me."</p><p>"That's not true. You are."</p><p>"No, you are."</p><p>"Fine then, list five things you like about me," Naruto challenged.</p><p>Hinata froze up. Then she poked her fingers together, looking like a deer in headlights.</p><p>"You go first," she said.</p><p>"Fine, I will. I...I like the way you poke your fingers together."</p><p>"Huh?" A light pink blush dusted Hinata's cheeks.</p><p>"And how you're so shy and dark. You're the only person I know who's like that."</p><p>"Wait a moment, Naruto-kun – "</p><p>He didn't wait. Listing things that he liked about Hinata was really easy! He could list<em> way</em> more than five things. He was on a roll here.</p><p>"And I love how kind you are and how brave you are. You're a really cool person, you know that? I love how when you fought against your cousin, you never gave up! And right before I was about to face him, I talked to you, remember? It was like your smile saved me. It let me fight him. I love how you never go back on your word. I love how you and I have the same ninja way!"</p><p>"That's not – "</p><p>"There are so many things that are great about you, but you don't even see it," Naruto said sadly. "It makes me feel bad that you don't, even though we're on a date right now."</p><p>"We're on a date?" she yelped. Then she calmed down. That conclusion was obvious, wasn't it? They were alone. Eating together. With no one around. Talking about what they liked about the other. "I guess...we <em>are</em>, right? On a date."</p><p>And Sakura called <em>him</em> oblivious. She clearly didn't know that Hinata was the same way (he chose to ignore for the moment that even he wasn't sure about whether or not it was a date not too long ago).</p><p>Naruto crossed his arms expectantly. "Now it's your turn."</p><p>Hinata took a deep breath. All signs of fidgetiness vanished from her face, to be replaced with a look of determination.</p><p>"The same things you said about me, Naruto-kun," she said. "I love how kind you are and how brave you are. You're a really cool person, and I love how when you fought against my cousin, you never gave up. I love how you never go back on your word. I love how you and I have the same ninja way. And...your smile saved me too, back then."</p><p>Hinata gave Naruto a smile. "I love people like you, too."</p><p>Naruto smiled back.</p><p>And today, there was no one to interrupt them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Some People Just Don't Learn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"Magnificent. Jiraiya-sama's finest book so far."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I got a nosebleed as soon as I read the first page."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I implore Jiraiya-sama to continue the story with a sequel, possibly a trilogy."</em>
</p><p>So said the reviewers on the blurbs on the back of the book cover (Kakashi had all the blurbs memorized within three minutes of reading them in the newspaper; he was a prodigy after all). And it was such a good thing that he paid heed to those blurbs, because they always gave him hints on when to actually show up to the bookstore.</p><p>Today, he knew, based on the enthusiastic reception that the latest volume of Icha Icha had received, that he had to arrive at exactly 6:55 am, long before the bookstore was scheduled to open at 8 am.</p><p>This was a good decision, as by 7:10 am, a long line had already formed and was snaking through the backstreet and onto the main road. Of course, Kakashi was the first in line. There was no way he would show up so early only for the novel to be sold out.</p><p>Still, the wait was boring. Kakashi passed the time by staring at the bright scarlet and blue sky and counting the clouds – sunrise had come already.</p><p>Yes, it was <em>sunrise</em>. A new dawn was rising on the world. And Kakashi was the one who created it. Jiraiya-sama's masterpiece was all thanks to him. And Ino, he supposed.</p><p>
  <em>Twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one...</em>
</p><p>"Kakashi!"</p><p>A Guy-shaped cloud hovered in his field of vision. The cloud grinned and winked at him, its pearly white teeth and green jumpsuit flashing so bright that he almost went blind.</p><p>"Kakashi!"</p><p>Oh, wait. That wasn't a Guy-shaped cloud. It was the real Guy.</p><p>"Oh, it's you, Guy. Um, hi."</p><p>"Good morning, Kakashi!" Guy bellowed, somehow having been right behind Kakashi the whole time without him noticing. This would have been worrisome to any ninja, that someone as gaudy, ostentatious, and...<em>youthful</em> as Guy could have slipped past their radar, but Kakashi knew that it was just Icha Icha giving him tunnel vision. That happened sometimes.</p><p>"I'm so proud that you're here at such an early hour!" Guy yelled (with Guy, it was <em>always</em> yelling). "My amazing genius rival, I know you love intellectual pursuits so much. That's why you're at the bookstore so early, right?"</p><p>"...Right."</p><p>Was Icha Icha an intellectual pursuit? It was an interesting question. For Kakashi, it was, but he suspected that many people – <em>unintellectual </em>people – would disagree.</p><p>"Why are you here, Guy?" he asked. It wasn't like Guy to be hanging out at the bookstore of all places in the morning. He was such a physical fitness freak, he was usually up doing nine hundred jumping jacks while running laps around Konoha or something at this time of day.</p><p>"Tenten and Neji complained that they were tired of eating one hundred turnips, eighty oranges, and seventy apples yesterday during breakfast and lunch," he said, for once looking not so happy and perky. Evidently, his students were not youthful enough in his worldview. "So I've come to get a cookbook so that I can make some healthy, springtime foods."</p><p>Kakashi would have to introduce the Youthful Springtime Guy Diet to Naruto. It would work wonders. Maybe it took a lunatic to beat another lunatic. Hmmm...</p><p>But those thoughts would have to wait for a bit longer. Icha Icha. Icha Icha. <em>Icha Icha</em>. He could feel Icha Icha calling for him.</p><p>Before he knew it, the clock in the bookstore struck eight, the doors swung open, and Kakashi raced inside to beat the other rabid stampeding Icha Icha fans.</p><p>The bookstore was a bloodbath. People were running around, snarling, hissing, shrieking, trying to rip limited editions of Icha Icha out of each other's hands. Most people in Konoha usually did not display such rowdiness, but Icha Icha turned well-mannered citizens into bloodthirsty mobs. It was that popular.</p><p>Kakashi was no exception. Using his time-honed skills as the Copy Ninja for incredibly wholesome purposes, he elbowed, kneed, shoved, and pushed his way to a lone copy of Jiraiya-sama's new novel, sitting innocently on a bookshelf in the back, just waiting for Kakashi to hold it.</p><p>Racing forwards before anyone else could grab it, he snatched the book up and wrapped it in a loving embrace. No one would separate them, ever, until the end of time. He ran to the shopkeeper and hastened to pay up, and then huddled in a corner with his beloved.</p><p>Glossy golden lettering winked mischievously at him, spelling out what he'd imagined for so long.</p><p>
  <em>Icha Icha Body Swap.</em>
</p><p>Heart racing frantically, he opened the book to the first page.</p><p>
  <em>This book is dedicated to my idiot apprentice and his girlfriend. Just so you know, I love you, so if you're reading this, please don't kill me.</em>
</p><p>Kakashi chuckled. Really, Jiraiya-sama had nothing to worry about. He had changed the names of the main characters, and besides, there was no way that Naruto would ever read Icha Icha Body Swap, having deemed its prequel, the great literary classic of the modern day, Icha Icha Tactics, "boring" and had said that he couldn't even get through ten pages. He hoped that Hinata was the same, because –</p><p>"Hands off, Pig! I got here first!"</p><p>"What was that, Forehead? Do you need glasses or something? Anyone with half a brain could see that I got here first."</p><p>"<em>Ino</em>. Back <em>away</em> from the magazine slowly or I will be forced to take drastic measures."</p><p>"Oh yeah, Sakura? Bring it!"</p><p>Kakashi chuckled again. Kids these days were so passionate, weren't they?</p><p>He flipped to the table of contents, totally ignoring the eerily familiar war between Sakura and Ino at his own peril. Kakashi almost started drooling as he laid his eyes upon the chapter titles.</p><p>
  <em>Shut Up and Come with Me!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What's Your Size? Part 1</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What's Your Size? Part 2</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I Know You'll Take Good Care of Me...</em>
</p><p>...And many others.</p><p>They sounded incredible. Kakashi's hands started shaking as he turned to the very first, nosebleed-inducing chapter.</p><p>He <em>really</em> should have been paying attention to the Second Sakura-Ino War, happening right behind him. It wasn't like they were being subtle, if the screams of the other people in the bookstore and the pleas of the shopkeeper for them to <em>please</em> stop fighting were any indication. But Icha Icha gave him tunnel vision. That happened sometimes.</p><p>"You know what? Screw this! Mind-Reverse Body Jutsu!"</p><p>Just like before, the intended target was Sakura.</p><p>And just like before, it hit someone else entirely.</p><p>Kakashi had barely glanced at the first character on the first page before he passed out.</p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. History Repeats Itself</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Guy-sensei – I mean Kakashi-sensei," Lee said delicately. "Is that...it for our training today?"</p><p>"Hmmm?" Kakashi, now stuck in Guy's body, green jumpsuit and all, glanced up from Icha Icha Body Swap. The fact that he wasn't wearing a mask like usual made his severe nosebleed even more apparent. "Oh, yes, Lee-kun. Just go home and take a nap."</p><p>"GO HOME?" Lee yelled at the top of his lungs, causing both of his teammates to wince in pain. "BUT I HAVEN'T EVEN DONE MY CUSTOMARY HUNDRED LAPS AROUND KONOHA BEFORE SUNSET YET."</p><p>Even Neji and Tenten seemed to be having more than a few problems with their temporary sensei's lack of youthfulness: Neji's jaw was twitching, as Kakashi had seemed more engrossed in the extremely graphic novel than with the fact that Neji had pulled off a perfect Eight Trigrams Palms Revolving Heaven, blasting Lee into a tree. Such a feat would have earned loud sobbing and rib-crushing hugs from Guy-sensei, but from Kakashi-sensei only brought a subdued eye-smile and a head pat. Tenten was in the same boat. She had unleashed a weapons hurricane on Neji, some of which he couldn't even deflect with the Revolving Heaven and had grazed his cheek. Again, a feat that would have earned loud sobbing and rib-crushing hugs from Guy-sensei, but again only bringing an eye-smile and head pat from Kakashi-sensei.</p><p>It wasn't like Kakashi-sensei was a <em>bad</em> teacher. But Guy-sensei was so enthusiastic about everything, and his relentless positive encouragement and big, rib-crushing hugs did make training...fun. Kind of.</p><p>Neji and Tenten were loath to admit it, but...but...</p><p>"C'MON, SAKURA!" roared a very familiar voice. Who could it possibly be except Guy-sensei, stuck in Kakashi-sensei's body? "HIT NARUTO LIKE YOU MEAN IT."</p><p>"ROGER THAT. SHANNARO!"</p><p>"NO WAIT, SAKURA-CHAN. ACK – "</p><p>A fist went flying and a large crater opened up in the ground a hundred yards away.</p><p>Naruto escaped the blast by the skin of his teeth, but being at the epicenter of the shock wave meant that he went flying and flying, slamming smack-dab into Team Guy's only remaining youthful, green spandex-wearing ninja. Sai was vigorously sketching the whole scene, ink splattering everywhere.</p><p>It seemed that Sakura had taken to Guy-sensei's training methods like a fish to water. Envy coursed through Tenten and Neji's veins.</p><p>Okay, they would admit it. They missed Guy-sensei. It was a mystery to them how Naruto and Hinata had pulled this body swap lunacy off for six entire days.</p><p>"When is Ino coming back from her mission again?" Tenten asked tiredly.</p><p>"One week," Neji said, the twitching in his jaw intensifying. "This is the <em>second</em> time that this has happened. Why is the Fire daimyo always requesting her clan right after she uses her stupid Mind-Reverse Body Jutsu?"</p><p>"SAKURA-SAN, THAT'S THE FLAMING SPIRIT OF YOUTH. HIT NARUTO-KUN TEN THOUSAND TIMES HARDER."</p><p>"ROGER THAT."</p><p>
  <em>Ino, please come back soon.</em>
</p>
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